em&femme designs

I love you, but I dont like...

2012-02-22T19:49:00.004+11:00

Recently I read an article about 6 phrases you need to use in a successful relationship (click HERE ):
1. You Look Great.
2. Can I Help?
3. Let’s Eat Out.
4. I Was Wrong.
5. I Am Sorry.
6. I LOVE YOU.

I think 1 helps, and 2 is one of THE most important ones of all. A relationship is NEVER easy, and we can use all the help we can get, right? Of course I LOVE 3, we all need to practise getting better at 4 & 5 and 6, well? Without that one, we wouldn’t even be a couple.
Now I would add these, always:

7. how was your day-I can see you’ve worked hard, and
8. you are a good parent
9. (any you would add?)...

My relationship with hubby is the most important thing. It all start there. I know they say happy wife, happy life, but I think its happy parents, then it's a happy life for all!

Without him, I would not be here in Autralia, we would not have kids, would not raise 2 pretty good kids... Before we became parents, it was just us for 5 years; we crossed worlds to stay together. And that we did!

Hubby and I just had a date. I was so excited, as this rarely happens.... In fact, since the birth of our eldest 7 years ago, it will be the 4th time. Ever.......
Now dont feel sad for us, we’re quite the family unit and love time together, but this ‘really just us’ time together is like nothing else.... the girls were staying away overnight, and having dinner without anyone getting grumpy was bliss! Not having to make someone bed time was great. Not having to share my food was great! We joked, we talked, we never ran out of things to say, and hubby even laughed when I asked the waitress if the trout had eyes (I do NOT eat fish with their facial features intact). In fact, she laughed too..

BUT-thats not to say we always agree and we never argue. We hardly ever fight though, and when we did the last time, it was a big thing, so big I proudly told everyone I knew I threw wine at his head.

Looking back I should have clarified that it was an emtpy ‘goon’bag, not a bottle, not a full glass (I would not waste that). But it does explain why lots of my friends husbands now walk around me with a wide berth hihihi... By the way, I missed!

When I was studying (to be a counselor) one of the first things we learned was that EVERY couple has disagreements. If they say they dont then either A. they are not telling the truth, or B. they are living completely seperate lives. Well, we do! Disagree that is!

We are both passionate people, do things with all our might, so yes of course we clash at times. But when we do, we always make it right again, and we make sure our girls see that!. Now, hold on to your horses, just with a cuddle, so they learn you can disagree, but you can also say sorry, and still love eachother. Its extremely important that kids learn their parents can have a disagreement, but also that they see you make it up. It teaches them copingskills.

My girls hate us not getting along, and my eldest gets very upset. I talked to her the other day when she asked why MY parents were divorced.
She asked ‘are you ever going to split up?'
*Of course not I said, why would you think that?
'Well, sometimes you don't like what daddy says, or he wants the house to be cleaner'... (me too, I think, me too)
*Well, I said, sometimes you and sister fight, and that makes me sad. Do you want Fem never to be your sister then?

The answer was NO

And do you see me pull daddy’s hair? (NO)
Do you you see him scratch me? (NO)
Do I take away his book and rip out his pages? Or spit in his face? Do I wee in the bath just to annoy him? Do I eat his chocolate in front him before he has a chance to eat it, like you and your sister do? NOOOOO

See, darling daughter, it's not that bad is it..... you can love someone, but you dont always like what they do or say. As long as you make it up and make it right again. By the way, I love you, but I dont like you are still up. Off you go-into bed~

xx

Perspective

2012-02-08T20:48:00.005+11:00

It’s all about perspective.....

You know I started the photo a day challenge in January? Well, I failed. Crashed and burned... Miserably! Didnt even get halfway...

But what I didn’t fail at is the other challenge; the promise I made myself, and the only thing burning haven been calories.

2012 is my year, and as I told my friends, I want to look hot, and I don’t mean ‘red in the face’....

Its all about perspective. Remember the party I did for Em, for a little over 100 dollars? You all thought it was a great budget, and that I did heaps with it. Hubby just found the bill and almost had a heart attack. I spend 100 on that???

I might need to loose less than some, and more than others. And weight is subjective anyway. I mean, a kg is kg but but not one person of the same height can weigh exactly the same and look exactly the same.
Because we’re us....and we need to look like us, not others. In the last 2 weeks I have been given the best compliment I could have been given by several people that have known me through several of my 'stages'. They said I looked like me again!

And I have been trying hard...

I used to be a 2 sugar in my coffee girl, and I hardly take any now. I have not eaten (expect for my daughters birthday cake last month) one single cookie, not one bit of chocolate, not one piece of cake. And the best thing? I dont crave sugar anymore-it’s that easy.....

I have to admit, I struggle much more with not eating chippies, burgers and especially my beloved mayonnaise... And worse? I am here on King Island and I am not even eating lots of brie. I will regret that when I am home again soon. Or not? I have to say, its a whole lot harder to take it off than put it on! Somebody should put that warning on food, like they do on cigarettes with the scary pictures!

I have exercised for at least 50 min a day, 6 days a week, for the last 3 weeks. Since I started this year I have lost 4 kg, which makes my total 10! I am not there yet, but I am closer than I have been in quite a while. And I am super proud of myself.

As a result I am still not on Facebook lots, and I am happy and sad to say that people miss me. Again, it's about perspective, and I know some dont understand the addiction. But for me, its an excellend & fast way to keep in touch with the people I know, wherever they live.... Well, it used to be anyway. Instead of watching all the updates roll past, I exercise now....

I have to do this for me. I want to look at myself and say: wow, you’re closer to 40 than 30, and you dont look it! I want to fit into my 'skinny' clothes again (size 10), the ones I still have after I threw most of them out-becaue I thought: who are you kidding??? Oh well, perfect excuse to go shopping ;P

So, I am going to put this up as my personal status right now. I am sorry, but if you’re in my corner, you will cheer me on along the way-whether you see me, or not............

“To all my friends that used to see me lots on FB: I am sorry I am not around as much.
But if you’re annoyed with me now, just wait until I'm fit, hot AND on holidays ;P

xx Ilja

I didn't mean it...

2012-01-29T21:03:00.002+11:00

I woke up in a sweat last night... Dreamt that no one read my blog anymore because I wrote “I couldn’t care less” in my last post!

Nooo, I thought, that’s not what I meant. Well, it was at the time, with me being so utterly exhausted. But, of course I want people to read what I write. All of it. I just meant I was taking care of bigger and better priorities at the time-getting into bed without tripping over myself... and putting the right stuff in bowls and the wrong stuff in bins. Instead of the other way around!

Do you ever say something and then immediately think :I shouldn’t have said that? Or you go home, think about it, and then go :oooohhh, what if they think I meant this instead of that- because I was actually looking left towards the ceiling which meant in that tv show that it might not be true.... (;P)

Last week I had a horror night sleep (yes Heike, I do get them-sometimes, and I don't deal with them well...). I don’t have many of them, as my girls are good sleepers. Always have been. Its like they were born with a built in gene-one that knows what mummy can be like if she doesn’t sleep at least 8 hour a night~!!!!

So... last week. At about 1 am, my youngest walks in and says: “I need you to come inside my room and kiss me goodnight. You never did!”. Now, I always do. Always! She had just fallen asleep before she noticed me do it.
“Go away” I said, it’s mummy’s sleep time. She went back to bed and that was it. I sighed with relief. For one second.... Then she started bawling . Howling, very loud! I yelled (I was tired...) and told her to stop, as she was waking up the neighbours. And their dogs. Which would wake me up. Again.
I refuse to give in to her demands. Not in the middle of the night, not during the day-not screamed at me... “Right” I said when she had continued for 5 minutes, “if they come to the door asking who is making that noise, I will show them where you sleep. They can take you home and make you hot chocolate, so mummy can have a good sleep. Because you won’t let me!!!”

Not even a millisecond later, my mother guilt kicks in and my minds started wondering... what if-just after I said that, someone would come and steal her (at 1 am I am not at my cleverest-no wonder they use sleep deprivation as a torture technique!)... I felt soo bad and was about to jump out of bed and cuddle her, when all of a sudden she stood next to me again and said (completely unfazed) : “will you buy me a new piggybank tomorrow? I broke my other one... “

Arrghhhhh..... This went on for a good 90 minutes (or perhaps only 9, but it felt like longer). Her screaming. Me saying stuff I didn’t mean, her so totally not caring and eventually passing out into a deep sleep, while I was left up feeling horribly guilty about the things I probably shouldn’t have said (I will never pay you pocket money again if you don’t go to sleep NOW!) .

It’s a bit like the : “if you don’t stop fighting, I will make you get out of the car and walk home”.
Seriously... do you ever put your kids on the side of the road and drive on? (My mum did once, only SHE got out and left us totally bewildered. I don’t think we ever fought again. In the car anyway....). When you say it, it feels totally justified, but 5 minutes after you start to feel guilty... I have that all the time. Especially when I get woken up at night.
Because I am tired...

So next time I tell you I don’t care when I am tired. Keep reading... I do care!
xx Ilja

Losing it

2012-01-22T19:37:00.002+11:00

I LOVE barbie...... She helps me loose weight!!!

Literally... While I put on my exercise dvd’s, the girls get to watch a barbie movie. I do my thing for the first 40 minutes, then I sit down with them for the last bit (as I can’t move anymore....). Yay for me!

This year, my priorities are as follows:
1.Me
2.My family (and friends)
3.My business
4.My anything else...

So-Me...., yep, it’s all about ME! I have bit the bullet, signed up for the 12 WBT Michelle Bridges program, and low and behold, I have already lost 3 kg...

I needed to, I really did. I came back from holidays last year and found myself weighing 8 kg more than I was full term with my babies. I didn’t gain lots while pregnant, but still! And my mum calling me chubby-I still haven’t gotten past that!
Anyway, whatever I will learn from this program, I have already learned. And that is if I make time, I loose weight. And come on, if I can sit in front of Facebook for 30 minutes, can also make time for ME. So I did, and I will!

Yes, thats why I haven’t been around a much. I make time for me, then my kids. And you know? I have been so much healthier and happier, and even though I have been spending more time on me, I have also been spending more time on/with my kids.

Why? Because I have learned to plan my time in better, and to (temporarily) drop the stuff that doesn’t need to come first. And I find that most days, when I’m done with my top 3, there is even time for that-if I feel like it!!!

But, my body is also tired. Soo tired that sometimes I feel like I can hardly move.... Its the getting used to different eating (at 9 pm I get soooooo hungry!), but mostly more exercise. And in between that, looking after my family and sewing, sometimes it makes me feel I have none left... Not even more blogging or taking pics. Facebooking? Yes... The rest? Nope!

So, there have been no uploads of photo of the day-though there will be another 'day'. There will be more blogs, but maybe not a lot for now. I will do what I can-when I can...

But you know, in all honesty? I couldn’t care less. Not right now. I might have not found time for that, but for the first time in a long time, I feel like I have been a supermum again (instead of a crappy mum), and I lost weight in the process. Or as I saw a photo somewhere, I should say ‘got rid of’, as I have no intention of finding that again.....

I was trying to take a photo of my pants getting to big, but with me in it, it really wasn't a shot I wanted to post....

xx Ilja

And then she was 7...

2012-01-17T17:22:00.017+11:00

I always looked at all those dessert tables with envy. You know the ones, right? I am a fan of many a party planner and table decorator extra ordinaire and just sigh..... Or, and I will be honest here, I am plain flabbergasted because it looks like I could have paid of my morgage with what’s on that table!

Anyway....Then I saw Amanda’s (from Tout Mon Amour) featured on Amy Atlas’ blog post-that party looked amazing!

I thought to myself-that’s it, no more envy-get of your butt and do this! So I did, and I used it, and (her !) as my inspiration.... For 2 weeks I looked and googled everything up on the net, and started pinning (on Pinterest). Em, who the party was to be for, told me to keep it or chuck it.

In 6 week I put as much together as I could, all within our budget, which was about $100. It helped that I had a 30$ off voucher, as all of that had to include the food as well ( I made and baked for a day)! I used Amazon, ebay, Amanda, and my own two hands, and this is what we ended up with.

The birthday girl turning 7!

Ahum, yes-that's me...

I took part in a secret Santa swap and this was my gift. I love it (though I’d hate to make it dirty), and Fem insisted I wore it, so I did. And I didn’t take it off till the last guest left. Thank you my secret Santa, now you know how much I love it.

Please look below for all the links:

I used Etsy for the printable wrappers

I used Amazon to for the lanterns

I used ebay to find the test tubes, and I filled with jellybeans

The artwork is mine, the print in pink is from Liselle's self-indulgent artsy-fartsiness,

the artwork with the red haired girl is from Heart Candy

And on pinterest you will find lots of my inspiration...

photo a day 'catch up'

2012-01-14T21:06:00.005+11:00

Ooh, I have been so slack....

Here's a catch up of the photo's I missed, since I am partaking in the Fat mum slim January photo a day and all....

Where I sleep: the view from my bedroom window (on a rainy day...)

Close up: my beautiful Em: her eyes ARE the window to her soul

In my bag: I am BORING: A wallet, a phone, sunnies, a lipstick with no case, and LOTS of receipts....

And now? Back to my saturday night.... xx

photo a day "what I am reading"

2012-01-13T21:24:00.003+11:00

I am cheating. BIG time...

But as Ive been busy with other things, I am skipping my photo a day to tomorrow, where it's "what you're reading"....
That's easy. That is ALWAYS on my nighstand!

Since I was a little girl, I have read myself to sleep. I did then, and I do now, and I can honestly say I never, NEVER go to sleep without reading. Even if its only a word....

And I dont just read one book, no, I read more than one at the time, OR I have a waiting list!
At the moment I am finishing a story on my Kindle-I love it for when I am not patient, and I want to read a particular book NOW. After that, I will go down the list. This list...
Have you read any of them? Are they any good?

xx

7 years

2012-01-12T20:36:00.004+11:00

Dear Emma,

7 years ago today you made me a mummy, and I couldn’t have loved you more for that if I tried.
And it only gets better the older you become!

I love you for not minding your birthday presents are always wrapped in Christmas paper.
I love you for not even asking for presents.
I love you for taking out your loose tooth yourself, while your daddy is squirming away and almost fainting, so now you have a big gap on all your birthday photo’s.

I love you for always having understanding for your younger sister, no matter what she does (to you).
I love that you still ask for a goodbye kiss at school every morning.
I love that you make a million friends on your first day at a new school.
I love that you don’t understand ‘mean’.
I love that you have an inner confidence others could only hope for, and I hope no one will ever crush that.

I love how you can cry at the drop of a hat when we discuss something sad, and I love how you always want to share. And while sometimes I have to turn the volume down, I love your zest for life, the energy you have in abundance, the way it looks like you're dancing when you’re just walking.

I love your inability to lie, your uncomplicated nature. I love your compassion, I love your innocence, I love how you love.
I hope you had a good day my Emmie,
I love you
xx

photo a day 'childhood'

2012-01-10T21:22:00.003+11:00

I'd like to introduce you to 'wafwaf'.

He is a very special member of our household, and a valued member of our family.
He has been our eldest daughter childhood cuddly, since, well, forever.
He has been to Singapore, and was dragged on the streets of Amsterdam. He has been vomited on, stuck who knows where, but still. We love him. My Em ADORES him. Still!
He has lost the stuffing in both his front paws, and the washing machine has not coped well with the gazillion lost little balls that came out of them. But he is still cute.
He is a puppy, not a sheep, and he smells a bit funny, but still...
He is 'wafwaf', and he will be part of Em's childhood for as long as she wants him there.
xx

photo a day "routine"

2012-01-09T19:17:00.004+11:00

Today, the photo os the day is 'routine'...

Here at our house we are all about routine, my girls wouldn’t cope without it. Mealtimes, bedtimes, etc-routine is everywhere!
But, whats to say you cant have fun with it- and we do like to make it hilarious. And yes, that even goes for even eating veggies with dinner ;) This is a portrait of daddy with his flappy ears!

I missed yesterdays photo, not because I didn’t take it, but because our internet was down. So here is a catch up from 'your sky' too...

I was going to take a photo of my fanily, as they are my world, my sun, my moon, my sky, but I was totally in awe of our driveway, the house, and the sky above it. Now, this is not our ‘normal house’, someone else is looking after that one. It’s our temporary home here on King Island, and while I could do without the gale force winds we have here, it still a piece of paradise! Besides, is it too much wishfull thinking to hope the wind will blow some weight of me?

xx Ilja

photo a day "favourite"

2012-01-07T18:55:00.004+11:00

Favourite....

That’s the word of the day in the fat mum slim photo a day challenge.
And I am going to cheat. My photo of today was taken yesterday...
Just like one of my favourite bloggers, Ange from Yes, Dear when she wrote this blog post (click HERE), I am going to write about the airport. It is one of my all time favourite places to go..

When I was younger it meant holidays to Greece or Spain, or adventure (a school trip to Russia), but most of all it means change to me.

Change in stress, change in environment, in scenery. Change in temperatures, in people- what they do , what they look like. Change in my life...

I hopped on a plane to the USA almost 18 years ago, to live on my own for a year. It changed my life, it changed ME. Then 12 years ago I hopped on another and went to live in Australia. That changed my life even more... Airports make it possible to open our eyes to new places, new cultures, new friends-new family. And yes, I mean airplanes as much as airports of course! Airplanes take you there, airports are where the journey starts!

When you’re in an airport as a passenger, you are either leaving people behind, or going to meet new people- both actually! Or you can be the picker-uperer, or the dropper-offerer. Where you say goodbye to loved ones, or close them in your arms again. Still all about change, isn’t it?

You know those people who embrace each other crying, smiling, even running toward each other. You can feel that positive tension in the air, apprehension too perhaps, definately anticipation. People exciting going on trips, or waiting at arrivals for their special ones. I am like that too...

Each time I leave my home country to fly to Australia again, I leave crying. And I leave my mum crying. Each time I arrive in Holland, I arrive crying. This year will see me do both, as I am very fortunate that my family has paid for another 4 tickets to fly to Europe. Which means a chance to see my family, my friends, to smell Europe in springtime, which must be one of my favourite smells in the world!.
But coming back to Australia is not just marked by the sadness I feel each time I go. It’s also joyous. I love my life in Australia, I love the people, the weather, I love my house. It just doesn't mean I dont miss. I miss lots! And airports change that. They help with that missing. They gave me a chance to be with the love of my life (and to find him in the first place), but they also heal me, each time I get to go back. I am one of those lucky people that has 2 homes now.

I have always known that my life will be full of change. I am not one to stay in one place forever. And I am sure more changes will come my way. I will embrace them (I hope!)

Yesterday we said goodbye to a dear friend at the airport. Soon he will be flying all the way to Germany, where we will be seeing him again in June.

Airports make that possible. They bring people closer together-they gap the distance. That's why 'airport' is one of my favourite words!

The photo I took is of the airplane he flew in. And though I am not afraid of flying, and I LOVE airports, I do hope the next plane WE are on, is a tad bigger than this...

photo a day "makes you smile"

2012-01-06T21:24:00.003+11:00

Just dropped a dear friend of at the airport. And I was taking photos just for this post, day 6 in the 'photo a day' challenge.... But as I was snapping away I realised it warranted a whole seperate post.
I love airports. they make me smile, for all the obvious reasons, having left my home country 10 years ago to immigrate to Australia. And then some...

But! here is what else made me smile today... The fact we call our youngest 'muppet sauce"
(I can still remember daring a friend to call that out during a Christmas party. Not sure if I was kidding or not, she tentatively shouted' hey muppet sauce'.... and in the 10 seconds Femme took to respond I am sure she was reaching all new levels of embarrassment. Luckily Fem came through! Like she always does. In the end..

She is the crazy one is our family, the 'never know what she will do next' girl.
The 'I will wear my ski jacket in the middle of a sweltering summer, just because I want to'
And when we left our friend flying off in the tiniest airplane we'd ever seen, she was inconsolable. And I like that about her... Wears her heart on her sleeve. A woollie one...

xx ilja

photo a day: something I wore to the mailbox

2012-01-05T10:16:00.004+11:00

Yes, I am still doing the fat mum slim 'photo a day challenge', its just that life got in the way...

So, this is what I wore

to the mailbox....

xx Ilja

ps... that skirt, is also a dress, a blanket, a hide out spot for 'under the skirt crawlers' and so much more... Bought when I was pregnant with Femme, it is one of my favourite items of clothing. EVER. And it never fails to make me happy when I see it, wear it, or use it !

photo a day "something you adore"

2012-01-03T19:30:00.004+11:00

So, day 3 saw me take photo's of something I adore...

Last night I was contemplating:

Was I to take a pic of hubby sleeping? Nah, that would involve me to get up before 5 am, which I only do of I have to catch a flight to go on some fabulous adventure!

I didnt want to put my girls through photographing them. again.

Wine then, or Brie? But no, I have (temporarily!!!!!) given them up...

Yes, Thomy mayonaise it would be!!!! Just the thought of it made me happy... But alas, this morning I found out I have gone through my 6 jars and a trip to the store would be in order...

So the following it became, and I sneaked in my hubby and kids too. On a hot day, just when I was about to suffer a melt down (literally speaking), an afternoon at the beach was in order. Crystal clear cool water was something I adored. As was the lazy snorkeling my Femme did, and watching my big Em go surfing with her dad (and NO-that boat was NOT moving!). And the walk on my own, splashin' the water as I went...

Sigh........

xx Ilja

ps, sorry for those who tried the link to my new FB page for my blog. Apparently its not working. Here is the web addres: www.facebook.com/emandfemmeandeverythingmayhem

Competition winners

2012-01-02T19:50:00.005+11:00

Ooh never before has a competition been so hard.....

To celebrate 4000 likers a while ago, and a lot of hits on my blog (for my standards anyway), I held a competition. I was (and still am) going to give away 2 FREE custom items. One 'mission was to find me a great quote I hadn’t heard of, and one was to describe your favourite blogpost of mine.

And for over 3 weeks I received the most wonderful entries and so many made me cry. Maybe it was naive, or I didnt give you enough credit, but it was soooo hard to choose a winner. And in the end I didn’t. I had to get hubby to help and pick one out of a hat, from a shortlist I put together last night.
Because when I would pick one, I’d thought “oohh-nooh’, what about the others....

While I was struggling with this yesterday I told someone it was too hard, and you know? She said she thought I had very lovely likers who’d be happy for one another, and no matter who would end up winning, it would be okay.

So a big, HUGE, heartfelt thank you to everyone who entered, for your time, your emails, and for simply reading what I write, but..... without further ado, here we go!

The winner of the quote is Kelly T, and her quote comes from a Chrissie Hynde (of the Pretenders) song:

"We are all of us in the gutter-Some of us are looking at the stars".

And I tell you why it was on my shortlist. First of all, I hadn’t heard of it before. And second of all I am a massive believer in attitude. How you choose to deal with things. How you face things, change things, create things. A glass half full or half empty, or- seeing stars when lying in the gutter... I think the manner in which you deal with things and how you experience life challenges will make a big difference in how your life is, how much happiness you allow in your life. I love "The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts", by Marcus Aurelius, and to me, Kelly’s quote says just that!

The second winner is Camille. Now I received a lot of beautiful emails that moved me so much, but that also contained a lot of funny, moving and personal things. And out of respect for everyone’s privacy I am not going to just copy paste what people emailed me and why they were shortlisted.
I choose to reveal whatever I want to because it’s my blog, if I dont want to share, I wont. But the ones who entered the competion, emailed ME, not everyone. So, you have to trust me on this one...

Also, looking at the 2 winners, I can see that Kelly’s quote sums up Camille’s email, so it was like it was meant to be.

Now, if you don’t want to know how close you got, please don’t read any further...

A special mention goes to those who made the shortlist: Mia, Sultan, Kelly and Tanya (blog), and Marsha, Sam, Georgie and Aydee (quote). Thank you!

I am hoping to post a blog soon with all the quotes in it, and perhaps some more new ones I find.

xx Ilja

ps I will email the winner as well!

photo a day 'breakfast'

2012-01-02T15:04:00.004+11:00

Almost forgot this one in the photo a day challenge, but here we go...

Our breakfast this morning:
Me: glass of lemon water (2nd of the day), cup of coffee with skim milk, and non-toasted muesli with light yogurt.
The girls: Milo with home made bread (by me) & home made jam (not by me) and muesli & yoghurt...

As I need a bit of help to get fitter this year, I am starting the 12 wbt challenge soon-and I feel quite motivated. Though I know this will be quite the journey for me- I am a serious food lover- I am going to give it a good go! And the best way to start is with a healthy breakfast! Just don't take away my coffee!

ps....
1. In a week or so I will no longer publish my blogposts to my em&femme site, they will get published on my new FB page instead. Click HERE for the link so you can like!
2. When hubby gets home from work I will get him to draw the winner of the free custom spots. I have narrowed it down to 3 (sooo hard) in each categorie, but just canNOT decide...

xx Ilja

photo a day challenge

2012-01-01T16:08:00.003+11:00

Oooh, I love a challenge. Some days I even like to be challenged -by others anyway-I try and always ‘truth or dare’ myself.

So... Chantelle from fat mum slim created a photo a day challenge for January, and set up a guide, to help you out each day (you will find that list HERE).

The first is me (or YOU on the list), so here I am...
Now -I am quite the happy snapper, and even on pics others take of me (when I am aware anyway), you’ll mostly find me smiling. I just don’t do a serious look very well, I look like I have my buttom pinched while trying not to cry.

xx Ilja

Gratitude

2011-12-26T18:50:00.006+11:00

I think Christmas is a time to be grateful, to show gratitude...
And I am not talking presents, though we have those in abundance too...

I often complain that my house is messy, or too noisy.... The girls toys, and paper snippets are everywhere (they get their love for craft from their mum). But you know? It’s the little things that matter, and that make me the grateful most. At least I have 2 girls that make that noise and mess...

I am in that luxury position, because the big things in my life are fine. I am in a great relationship, have 2 healthy children, a roof over my head, and many true friends. But it’s the little things that I can see and appreciate that make me realise to not always sweat the small stuff. So what if our house is a sea of pink, there are marbles you step on and make you want to swear out loud, there is glue on every surface and a penmark here and there. But there are also fairy books on daddy's night stand, pink hairties everywhere, and tutu’s hanging of the bathroom hook.

So, I am grateful for the things that I don’t always like. Because even those things make my life the way it is, and it is all kinds of wonderful...

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow”
- Melody Beattie

Am I looking through rose colored glasses caused by Christmas afterglow? Absolutely! But who cares....

And, not to forget, as Christmas is all about giving- I am giving away 2 of my em&femme designs next year, 2 completely FREE items. Custom items.... On January the 1st I will announce the winners, so there is time left! And all you have to do it read THIS post and send off an email.... you have to be in it to win it, and Ive got a pile of amazing entries already!

well, I hope you're relaxing now, with your feet put up after a hopefully great Christmas.
'See' you soon,
xx Ilja

I will...

2011-12-20T09:06:00.004+11:00

Inspired by “she will turn her can’ts into cans, and her dreams into plans”, here are my resolutions for next year!

I will no longer be a dam when sitting in the middle of the bath tub

I will teach my girls how long a real minute lasts

I will smile at friendly people, and just laugh at the ones who are not

I will continue every day to get up and say to myself :”you are lucky and dont you forget it”

I will read a fairytale to my girls each day. Because days and girls without fairytales is like grass that is not green or tickly

I will say yes to my girls more, and no more to others

I will do all of these things!

And......

I will finally start my seperate blog page-dreadfully devoid of likers at the moment! Can you help me out and make some? I mean, don’t go off and try and make new likers-just ‘like’ it, if you know what I mean... From 01 January 2012 thats where the winners of my giveaway will be announced.... Here is the new page:
em&femme and everything mayhem

and here is the giveway.You have untill 31st december 2011 to enter-I am absolutely loving all the entries so far, and want to say thank you for your feedback, and thank you for your time...
Giveway

so, what are your plans for 2012? Any resolutions? And what is the one that seems to creep back on that list every year?

xx Ilja

the bad stuff...

2011-12-13T21:26:00.002+11:00

You know, us bloggers, or anyone on FB really, can be who we want to be, can pretend we’re someone who were not... and in a world where we accept more & more interaction in our lives with people who we’ve never really met, who’s to say you is really you, and me is really me..

We’d put our best foot forward wouldn’t we...
I will show you the naked me. Well, not the real one- I’d scare you half to death , so I will leave that one till the end. Skull a drink, and have a look... just kidding, maybe another time 

But, I was thinking, we can all put our best feet forward and no one would ever know.

So, I am going to tell you all my flaws. I am pretty sure you know my good bits. Here’s the bad....

I can get really grumpy.... really grumpy. Most of the time it has to do with food. Or lack there of. We never had to stop because the baby was hungry, or we had to change a nappy. No, in our family it is “we have to feed your mother”....

I am not always right! (sigh, cant even type it without cringing).. and I do NOT follow my own advice as much as I should. But I can admit I am wrong, and I do say I am sorry. Without the BUT.

I can be very judgemental (I am my own worst critic)
I can be too harsh (but at least I am honest)
I am way too emotional. Therefor too judgemental (as in “that’s just wrong-you can't do that!”)

I am not the healthiest person on earth (am probably too heavy, I drink too much- when the doctor asks if I drink more than 4 glasses of wine I have to ask... In an afternoon? A day? Surely not a week?

I am loud-you can hear me from a mile way (but at least you can hear me coming)

I sometimes lie in bed really dissapointed in myself because I feel I am a bad mother. Because I yelled at my kids, and it was more about me than them. And I can be loud-did I say that already?
My hubby is sooo good, he makes me feel less good, and I am afraid the kids love him more. I am the bad cop, he is the good one. As in the fun one, I am the consistent, reprimanding one... I know they need it, but still....

I go to bed too late. Every night. And then I feel tired during the day. And sigh, and huff and puff. Coffee is my friend...

And I am too messy... really! The only place that looks half decent is my sewing room. Then my kids!

I am NOT a laid back person and never will be (who always says ‘whatever-I don’t care’, because I do care). But-and it has to be said too- I am hardly ever stressed, I am never late, and I sleep like there is no tomorrow...

I struggle with needy people. Not the ones who NEED and deserve help. But the ones who need to hear how good they are, how fabulous they are. How they perfect they are.Because you know what? I dont think they are... Get real, nobody is...

I am sure there will have to be a take 2, this is what I came up now, in 10 minutes. If I look at it for longer, I might edit. So, if you still read my blog after this one, stay tuned for the follow up ;P

xx Ilja

Give me your best shot!

2011-12-07T20:16:00.005+11:00

You know....?

If I wouldn't sew I'd talk for a living. The ears off your head. Which is why I like to blog. And I miss it..... I can pretend someone is actually listeneing to what I say-Hubby canonly pretend for so long :P
So, I propose a swap of some sorts... You tell me what your favourite post is and why, and I will write at least 2 times a week!. And I'll try to make it interesting...

I started this because of Facebook rules and giveways and the likes. And I hardly talk about anything sewing related at all. Have at times wondered if I shouldnt create a different blog, but you know? I havent shared anything I am ashamed off. Havent written anything I wouldn't want my customers to know if I had a brick and mortars shop... This is me, take me or leave it.

But, a little disclaimer first....

Okay, back to my proposition. I will combine my 2 loves here: sewing and talking....
I am giving away 2 customs spots. For free! 1 Item each, posted to wherever you live-as long as I make the style and I have the fabric.
One goes to the person who describes best what and why their favourite post is, the other who comes up with the best quote I have not heard before.... You all know I'm a sucker for a good quote!
All answers can be mailed to info@emandfemme.com.au -write in the subject line "custom spot"

To help you out here are (but it's in no way restricted to), the 10 most read posts, in no particular order.....

1. Confession (where it all started-jan 2011)
2. Forgiveness (laying myself bare March 2011)
3. That Dress (weightloss and balance Oct 2011)
4. Emma (about the one i dont write about Sept 2011)
5. Women in black and white (July 2011)
6. Ode to daddy (July 2011)
7. Threats and tantrums (April 2011)
8. When it all goes pearshape (How I ended up in KI August 2011)
9. Change (whu I no longer take customs had the most views EVER )
10. Another confession (Sept 2011)

'Firm', 'a mothers love', 'I do but I am not' and 'it's all about me' almost made the list....

so, happy reading, happy thinking, and see you soon! I will keep my end of the deal... Winners will be anounced on the 1st of January-you have till the end of the year....
Ilja xx

All I want for Christmas

2011-12-04T21:19:00.002+11:00

3 weeks till Christmas, are you excited? I am .....
I will be honest, I am excited because of the kids-because they are... The Christmas tree is ridicously decorated with pompom trims, and we wont have turkey to eat. It will not be a white Christmas, probably just a windy one. But it doesn’t matter.

When I was young, I played outside whenever we could. Sure, in Holland it was often a bit chilly and rainy, but on days that I could-I was gone. Gone in the wind.....
Imagining being rescued of a raft on a big open ocean, or building tree huts like Robinson Crusoe. Playing with the neighbourhood kids and not come home till 6 , when dinner was ready. And after which I would plop in bed, completely exhausted-only to do it all again the next day. Ooh how I loved it! There was no end to my imagination. If it WAS cold or wet, I’d play with my barbies, or lego, or play hide and seek in the nooks and crannies of our house. And you know-those are the best memories that I have of the first 12 years of my life.

I know things were different then, safer, but still, I’d love the same experience for my kids. Maybe I am selfish, or unrealistic, but if I could give them some of that ‘entertain yourself and have the best time, then I think that’s a good thing.

Some of my best friends have Wii’s. And I love them. Or PS’s and DS’s and the likes, and my kids love them. Or the kinect thingies that scan your body (and make me really competitive. I could so be a pro boxer). But-and this has been discussed on my page before, and I know that not all agree. I appreciate and relate to other people opinion on this matter-but- Hubby and I choose different.

For now. For as long as we can.

Santa has always given the children outdoor toys for Christmas: surfboards, a trampoline, bikes, etc. This years it will rollerskates and a Powerwing. They will get wooden toys from us to add to their ever growing wooden kitchen collection, as well as craft-because I love how its stimulates their imagination. There is enough time to play on the computer and stay inside . I am sure when they get just a little bit older we cannot escape it, we can no longer say no. But now we can. So we will....

And you know what the first thing is when kids come to play at our house? Its the kitchen.
Besides, I am secretly hoping to instill a love for cooking in them, so in a couple of years they will make ME dinner ;P

Here are some of my fave links for kids toys that we buy!

Alex toys
Hipkids
CheekyJunior

Now of course I could give you more, but I'm taking it easy, just in case hubby is reading this post tonight (wink wink)

xx Ilja

Not a bad place

2011-11-29T21:37:00.006+11:00

King Island is soo not a bad place to be.

They have Thomy mayonaisse for starters, and you know how much that means to me. Not that I need to buy it of course, because I stuffed the suitcases full of it. The girls can share clothes...

Everyday I come home, and tell hubby ‘ooh, I met such and such today, and she/he/they were soooo friendly” And he says: you say that every day...

But they are. So friendly. I still expect them to jump out at me one day and go ‘ROOOAAARRR, and scare the crap out of me. Or they might yell: 'you are on candid camera!'. Or I will be turned into a Stepford wife (at least my cooking will get better, and my house will be cleaner)... But so far so good.

I was a tad apprehensive. And a bit scared. Didnt know if I really wanted to come. But it has 100% been better than expected!

Emma comes home for school every day saying its awesome! At the postoffice they offer me a ride home because of all my parcels (I DID tell you I was going to finetune the art of internet shopping), and my Femke, who suffers from separation anxiety hasn’t cried once at drop off.
We can walk to the pub and have a bite to eat, I can walk to town and do all my shopping (I used to have to get into my car to go anywhere). Cheese is cheap. Ooh, and did I mention the people are friendly?
I am hoping to slow my brain down enough to start blogging regulary again, I kinda miss it. Till then-here are some pics of where I live now. Now you see?

Ilja xx

ps.. Did I mention the cheese is cheap?

Snakes and all that.....

2011-11-15T20:46:00.003+11:00

Okay, so I am not the most lady like of sporters.... and I don’t look crash hot either huffing and puffing and wheezing and woozing. But I do blame that on the snakes.... Pulling up my socks till they cover up the bare skin left vulnerable by my ¾ yoga pants keeps me safe-I am NOT trying to make a fashion statement! It’s that or not walking. And I made a pact to get fit.... with myself!

I have found out that almost stepping on snakes once or twice does wonders for my fitness level. Not only does my heartbeat go up just a tad (I’ve read that is a necessity in exercise: increase your heart rate and start sweating!), it’s also good for the variety of my routine. I walk. Enjoy the scenery, do a bit of daydreaming here and there... Then! I see one, I let out a yelp, I do a hop and a skip so high I’d give the ballet peeps a run for their money and then I, uhm, well, I run. That doesn’t last long as I am still really unfit, and then it starts all over again..... Daydream, Snake, Ballet, Run. Yep, it aint pretty.....

You know 'power of the mind' and all that. I pride myself on mine. Which is not helping me at the moment. I now hear snakes everywhere. I use the steam function on my iron? Well, the hiss sounds like one. Really, it does-try it!..... Hubby drives up the gravel highway, there is a platoon of snakes (a flock?, a herd?). Some dodgy song on mtv? They are hiding behind the cupboard.....

But, I am bigger than this (really, that;s why I am walking....), stronger. I will survive....

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I would die if I would
See a snake in sight

But I spent so many walks
thinking I need to get fit
as I’ve grown so much biogger
Than I’d like to admit

and now they’re here
all these snakes
I am just walking, and they're are everywhere
I’d rather eat cheesecakes

there are so many of them here
I should have some self control
not let them scare me for one second
and put them back into their hole

Go on now go, slide to the shore
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore

weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with your fang
you think I'd crumble
you think I’d fall down with a bang

Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to run
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength I had
to do my ballet jump
over snake infested bushland
that made my heart go pump

and I spent oh so many nights
having nightmares about you
I used to cry
I used to wake up with a boo

But see me now
somebody new
I'm not scared little person
still afraid of you

so if you feel like sneaking in
and expect me just to droop
I’ve got a big surprise for you
I’m in the mood for some snake soup

So you wont scare me
I will survive
as long as I stay on the path
I know I'll stay alive
I’m not the one to beat
I’ve got more cheese to eat
and I'll survive
I will survive......

xx ilja

please tell me you tried to at least sing it with me.... ;P

Roadtrip

2011-11-07T20:22:00.007+11:00

While I am dealing with the aftermath of 2 girls crying after I promised a lolly tomorrow to the one who was in bed first I will try and write this blogpost... I really don’t know what was I thinking making that promise-clearly after 2 glasses of red I wasn’t, but neither was hubby, who after his 2 glasses jumped into bed first and told me he was going to get the lolly.....
And that’s why they are crying.......

---------------------------------

I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. ~Mark Twain

Well, I say a family that can travel together stays together...
It’s not easy, being stuck in the car with a 6 and 4 year old-in a space that so much smaller than our bathroom. And at least our bathroom has a toilet. We also discovered hubby and I really disagree how long to continue driving for when they say : I need to do a wee.... He thinks they can hold on for the much better and bigger rest stop 45 K’s ‘down the road’, the one with the coffee shop & nice muffins , while I think we should stop asap (!!!!!!). I recognise the urgency in their voice-especially when it comes to wee-ing, it's a particular handy talent I have...
Well, I say-each and every time: 'You can clean up if they can’t hold up'. And each and every time, I win.....

I wish I was the kind of mum that plays 'I spy', and counts the red cars, and waves at passers by all day long like the (loony) kid I once was too-but I’m not. I took the easy way out and bought both my girls their own little dvd player..... and more importantly, headphones. My sanity thanks my practical brain, even though at times I feel like a lazy mum. Oh well, I tell myself I can't win all the time!

All in all it went very well. We went via Coffs Harbour- Port Macquarie-Karuah-Canberra-Albury and Melbourne to Kind Island.
The best thing? We saw new and old friends, saw lots of new places, and probably spent more time together in the last 7 days than in the last 70, and amazingly, we still love eachother ;P

And that's the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind. ~Dave Barry

So, we’re in a taxi and Fem says, really loud: 'why is our driver sitting in that big plastic seat? Is that so when he falls and crack his head open he won't bleed on our seats-cause he is kind of old?' (I cringe and want to hide, but it's not over yet... 'Noo' Em says: 'it's because robbers cant get to him, I’ve just read it on the window, and and he can just jump out. Do you think he can do that when the car is till driving?' (While I am so proud Em can read grown up language, I want the ground to swallow me up and take me straight to China...) Well, we did get to the airport in record time!!!!

Then we went on this tiny little airpline that was to be my scariest airplane ride (give me a Boeing 747 anyday), while the kids loved it as it made them feel like they were on a rollercoaster. Gulp!

When we arrived, we were filmed, and applauded and there were masses of people waiting for us. Oh no-that was for the Governor General, who was to officially open the 150 year old lighthouse on king Island a bit later that day (when we were sitting so close behing her I was sure she heard Fem say: 'why is the lady in the red jacket so important that everyone is quiet? You’re not that important!'
(I made a metal note to find a jacket just like that and pretend is has special powers)

Anyway, we are here now... I am about to cut out my first fabric since 2 weeks, so I can sew tomorrow-and I honestly cant wait-absence does make the heart grow fonder-I cant wait to create again.

More to follow.... the girls have fallen asleep and I am about to enjoy the peace and quiet...

xx Ilja

Warning: random pics to follow

Fem's fave place on our travels: where daddy got a pig in his coffee (she LOVES pigs)

My fave place. EVER.....

The beach on our very first day... I think King Island was showing off a bit, but hey, who's complaining ;)

King Island

2011-10-26T19:48:00.003+11:00

You know how-with little kids (even big kids sometimes :P), you need to give them a warning before leaving some place-so they know what is coming and are prepared?

Well, I feel like I have been waiting for sometimes to give me the signal. The “hey, in 5 mintures we’re off’ one...

You know how sometimes you’re making a decision that is hard to make, and you’re scared to make it? But after you’ve done it, it immediately feels like the right thing, and you know that the people who truly care, don’t care..... (I mean, they care-but they are okay with it ). They will understand what is best for you. And they will wait!

Our move to King Island feels a little like that too. We have to do it. There is no way I’d stay home with the girls and live without hubby for so long, let the kids be without their father. I would be able to if I had to, but I don't have to. Not when there is an alternative. And there is.....

Those who read my blog know I am moving. In 5 days to be exact. We’re taking the family, handing over our house to someone who will lovingly look after it (meaning: make sure it wont go down in flames or gets burglared), and we’re going on an adventure.

And I am scared... Since immigrating here I have moved 5 times already, and while my home truly is where my heart is (first with hubby, now with him and the girls), still....

I have been struggling a bit, and I am not scared to admit it...
Struggling with leaving friends behind who need me right now... struggling with leaving 'the known, the comfortable' behind..
I am struggling with packing too, as no matter how much I know my mind on certain issues, what I feel like wearing next week is another. Even worse. What fabrics to pack? How will I know what I’d like to sew with in a month’s time... But you know. It all doesn’t matter.....

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened”
Winston Churchill

I have kept myself so busy, to avoid thinking about it. And it’s only now we have a date I am able to work towards it. Get excited... see it as an opportunity. To see new places, ride my bike and explore, eat new cheeses. I wonder if I can push the boundaries of shopping online....

5 more nights to sleep in my own bed. Clean my house so it’s ready for our looker afterers. 1 More day of sewing. A big farewell dinner. More lists to make, and cross things off....
Lots and lots of cupcakes to bake for farewell treats to give to the girls.

But also exciting times ahead. New things, new villages, new people... One of my friends said she’d give her right arm for an adventure. And it hit me. How lucky am I? To get to do this, without giving my right arm...

I am going to give it my all, and I am going to keep you up to date (whether you want to or not!)
For those curious people, Poh from Poh’s kitchen was aired last week, and she was visiting King island. Here is the link to her blog..

well, see you soon-here, or there

xx Ilja

Dear Santa

2011-10-18T20:50:00.004+11:00

Dear Santa,

Please forgive me. I’m onto my 2nd glass of wine, have hardly had any dinner as I’m on a diet and my kids are still awake. While you would be impressed with my Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction dance imitation, it's time to get serious....Please help me, or I will send my girls to you, and if you’re always watching like I tell my girls you are, you should know I don't make empty threats. They are used to long distance travelling, and a bit of cold won’t hurt them, they’ve been to Holland in winter and know how to roll snowballs! And where to throw them!

I know we talked a while ago, but I’d appreciate it if you didnt send one of your elves to deal with me this time... I didn’t ask for too much, though now my list has grown... You should have just listened the first time! No, I am NOT threathening you, but I WILL keep my kids up on Christmas Eve, and trust me, my girls on a sugar rush is not pleasant. Or pretty... And I won’t leave any beer out for you either...

I seriously need your elves to work their magic this year, and I am willing to trade my daugthers presents. I will go to Big W instead and get them something little, they didnt notice I did last year anyway...And I will raise my offer of 10 kg with another 5 (don't even ask!). I need more hours in the day. I need another sewingmachine and another overlocker. Remember you gave me one 2 years ago? That was perfect-now I need a back up... I also want you to make me sleep like I had 10 valium. But without the valium of course, I do not live on Wysteria Lane-though I am desperate at times...

I need a personal chef. And a cleaner. Seriously. While I sort out my laundry and hang it up by color so it resembles a paint chart, I do need help with the folding up. My guest don’t have anywhere to sit.
I need a dryer. That runs on solar energy so both my hubby and I are happy. I will trade his presents too. He never knows what he wants anyway.

I need a pool, so I can cool down in summer. And I need one of those blow up thingies with a drink holder to go with the pool. Ooh, and can you make it heated? Chicken skin does not look good on me, though it makes me look skinnier. I am just not always sure what’s out there in the ocean, and our beach called Shark Bay is NOT helping. Hence the pool...

I need the radio to play lovesongs without adds, I need to be Rachel Mc Adams in Notebook, I need to clean out my girls craft drawers. I am wondering how that dragon we made with eggshells is doing? Or hang on, maybe that's where the smell is coming from..

I need a couple of assistants. And a nanny. To look after me, while I look after my kids. I eat a lot, and almost everything. Just no oysters please.
And please do not send me any more pinterest quotes...

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough" by Oprah Winfrey

I know that.. But it’s easy for Oprah to say. She probably has a dryer and a pool.

Boy, time for another glass, and maybe a pink Oreo or two, so I will leave it for now. Just remember I am probably not done. And I know where you live. And No, that is not a threat either

Yours sincerely,

Ilja xx

ps and no, they are not kisses either. it means one more strike and you're out!

10 things you didnt know about me

2011-10-16T18:42:00.005+11:00

I was 'tagged' by the oh so fab Jess from 'Whoa, Mumma', who challenged me to reveal 10 things about myself...

*insert scary music, but I accepted, so here we go!

I met Charlie Sheen... Okay, I didn’t really meet him, I saw him, and I am pretty sure he didn’t see me. It was 1995 and it was in a California store where he was handing out autographs... I should have waited in line, but it got boring..
I have 2 tattoos. The first was a dare by my hubby-I was always talking about it, and never actually did it-which is rare for me. So he put me on the spot and I did it. The 2nd was a well though out, and so not what many would think. Its pretty close to the pic above... when I was little I had a pillow in this shape, and I loved it-cuddled it till I was (ahum) 12. Now it reminds me of me, a hard tough shell on the outside, but oh so soft and vulnerable once that shell is gone. Besides, slow and steady wins the race...
I NEVER go to bed without saying goodnight to my girls. And checking under their beds. And behind their curtains. That includes the shower curtains...
I have a really high threshold for pain. Physically or emotionally. But an itch?? Oooh I cant stand it, and I will use every object within my reach to scratch it!!!!
One of the countries I’d like to go to but have never been to is Brazil. Maybe its because bigger bums are okay there, or it might be the music. I am not sure...
I am a complete sucker for Irish accents. (a Scottish accent is next). Swoon.....
I went to uni and studied for what seemed like forever, to understand why the grown ups in my life did what they did. I did it to understand the hurt and pain and the love. It was the best thing I ever did! Not only did I manage to graduate and get a masters degree, it took me all the way to Australia (where I did my research for my thesis) and I met my hubby...
Speaking of the last, my very best moments are with him. Not with my fantastic girlfriends who rock my world and are simply amazing, not with my out of this world daughters, but with my down to earth hubby. As he makes everything worth it, shows me that I made the right decision leaving my home and all the great things in it behind to find equally great things here, and besides.... without him, I wouldn’t have those daughters :P
You might have guessed, but I am loud. Loud and proud (King island watch out-I wonder if the island is big enough). I have an opinion and I am certainly present... I didn’t use to be that way, but I am happy now. I prefer that people ask me to be quiet than never notice I was there...
I can flare my nostrils.... and really, thats the only comparison with a dragon... Honestly!

The other ladies I would like to tag for this are Shan and Nic and Georgie and Hannah and Fiona...
I am aware some of you might have been tagged already-my apologies in that case, but you were too awesome to leave out!!!!

xx Ilja

THAT Dress

2011-10-11T19:16:00.006+11:00

Hubby kicked me out this afternoon. It was about time, it’s really for the best. And since I am not a morning person, and walking late afternoon suits me much better, I was totally fine with it!!!!... Let's see if I can keep this up!

-------------------------

In the last couple of weeks I have seen various pics float around the internet. Like this one:

And this one (I can remember it clearly-I loved it when it came out in '97 and I was 21... And how good is that slogan: "know your mind, love your body"?)

Since then, I have come across people calling eachother fat, and also learned a new term: 'skinny bashing'....

And all I want to do is 'tut-tut'....Well, let me tell you my opinion (you dont' have a choice!): We're not talking tellies, houses or cars. We are talking us, womens bodies. And when it comes to this, to our shapes, I think size really does NOT matter... but balance and health and fitness does...

It's not about being overweight or too skinny-we all have things about our body to complain about. Come on, we are women after all!!!!.

It is about being healty and supportive role models for our children. I wasn’t scared of gaining weight during pregnancy. But the fact I am now 15 kg havier than I was full term with my youngest is probably not a great thing... For me!

I have doubled in size since coming to Australia, I was a 6/8 when I came 'over', now I am a 12/14. I have also had 2 children, got 12 years older, and I am perfectly happy my body has changed. But.... I regret not playing with my girls more on the beach, or going to the pool. My body is not as firm as it used to be, and somehow I am ashamed... In Europe, no one cares, they just don’t. Everyone goes out to the beach, just the way they are. No board shorts, no kaftans, no nothing.. well, besides their swimwear that is... I feel different here, more self aware. And it's probably all in my head!

It should't even be about weight. It should not even be about size. It should be about being comfortable with ourselves, and setting a good example. I know, I have two girls, and the way I look at my body will reflect upon me, their view of me, and that will stay with them. Forever. It will make an impact that can't be changed later on, and it will determine how they will look at their bodies.

I want them to be happy, to be healthy. To have a good relationship with food and that doesn’t mean no sugar, or no gym; it means the good AND the bad! Girls nowadays grow up with "slim is beautiful'. It should say "healthy is beautiful'!!! We all have our own optimum weight. I wouldn’t be healthy if I weighed less than 65 kg. Others wouldn’t be if they weighed more then 55, or less then 75. It depends on your size, your build, your height, your life. It depends on YOU!

In my ideal world I wouldn't just want to see size 2 on the runway, but I also wouldnt just want to see size 12 or 18. I'd love to see ALL sizes: 1-20, if I could. Now that would be a fair representation-and I'll bet it would be a beautiful show!

Now I am learning to love my body, get fitter in the process, and I have decided not to use weight so much as a measure, but my favourite clothes. Are they tighter, are they looser? And till then, I hide the bad bits and accentuate the good. Untill I reach a size that is healthy for me, I will keep on trying. I wont give up food, but I will exercise and I started this weekend...

At a wedding this Saturday I danced. For 3 hours (at least) and while I am incredibly sore (still) and I can hardly walk, I have decided I am doing this every day. Crank up the music and just dance. Like nobody is watching. Unfortunately on the weekend everyone watched, but thats okay. I was high on life, and it was a good place to be.

What made me feel so good? My dress. THAT dress... I was too late to organise a pettiskirt that fitted, too late to shop for starch and made the collar stand up as straight as it should, and my gorgeous white belt broke at the last mintute... BUT. It was tight in all the right places (uuhhmm, my ribcage) and wide and flowy in all the places where I needed more room. And I love it. I LOVE IT!!!! The next time I am sick, or feel yuk, or totally unmotivated and overwhelmed, I am wearing THAT dress...

I have showed you pics of me after my spray tan (click here). I have shared pics of me with my face mask on a couple of blogposts ago... I think it's my turn to show myself with make up and my hair done in THAT dress...

(And no, I have no idea what's with THAT finger?)

And remember, its about loving yourself, being comfortable, and being YOU!!!!!!!

xx Ilja

Out of the mouth of babes

2011-10-03T21:11:00.004+11:00

Since it’s school holidays, and I am actively trying to balance sewing and kiddie time, I figured, why not actively engage them in writing my blog... The result is an interview with my girls. Nothing serious, nothing fancy, but they LOVE me reading it back to them, so I have already made 2 little people happy! And 2 of the most important ones at that! They came up with the questions, they gave me the answers.... Unfortunately I "quote, unquote"!

Please be warned, this is NOT going to make any sense, but the reason I am writing this, is that years later they get to look back and read it all. And hopefully get emberassed....

“out of the mouth of babes" (and occasionally my babe)...

*What do you think about this thing called 'em& femme designs'. What is it about?
F: Us playing... (Me: what???)
E: It’s a website where you can have a look at dresses, hats and clothing (at least of my kids pays attention...)

*Whats the best thing about mummy sewing?
F: I can do anything in my bedroom while mummy is sewing-she wouldn't know
E: The best thing about mummy working is that she gives us money to buy ice scream...

*What is the worst thing?
F: When I play in my room, I make a mess and when I have to clean it up I get cranky!
E: She doesn’t get to play and do fun stuff lots...
(H: the laptop is never turned off)
(Me: who asked you?)

*What’s illegal?
E: Drink driving. So you can’t drive anymore mum (I’d like to point out its after 7.... PM!!!!). Stealing of other people. Having no undies when visitors come.
F: Shaking your bum at people .

*Who can tell the funniest joke:
F:Why does wine drink and pie cross the road?
Cause they wanted to get more and more and more... (*ahum-shakes head and tries to look elsewhere)
E: Why did the alligator climb up a tree ? Because there were a bunch of lions chasing him? (Uhm, yes, I never said they were funny....)

*What the best thing to do when mum is cranky? (H asked the question)
E: Run away and hide
F: We need to listen and make her happy (I passed her a lolly under the table)

*What does your mother look like first things in the morning (H again)
E: A hairy monster
F: All cranky and flanky... (and I took the lolly away..)

*What the best thing about daddy?
F: He takes us to the park, buys on ice cream, and tips things on our head (H: I do not)
E: He is very funny, takes us fishing and to the park

*What the worst thing about daddy:
F: He can get really really really cranky
E: He goes to work
(Me: oh, and he gets the man flu! )

*What is mummy's biggest lie?
E: You dont lie
F: I take of your glasses and mess up you hair etc.. (Honey, did you hear the question?)

*What is the best thing about & mummy and daddy?
E: How they kiss together
F: How they laught together
(Me: aaaww..... H gets all red)

*What is old?
F: My underwear (its got a hole in it....)
E: Oma.
F: Was she alive when the dinosaurs were there? Where did she hide?
(Me: I hope my mum doesnt read this post....)

*Whats is new?
F: Oh, can I ask what I want from Santa? (Me: sigh....)
E: The pies we hade for dinner

*What the worst thing about sleeping?
F: Night mares and monsters
E: It's boring and you don’t get to play
(H: Ilja’s breath. Me: at least its only my breath in the morning, you smell all day...)

*Anything else you want to say? It cant involve more underwear or I am not allowed to post this?
F: I got burned in a fire (Me: you did? F: Yes, I once had a little blister on my little toe)
E: Can I watch Scooby Doo now?

Told you..... but my kiddies are happy, and that's what matters!

xx Ilja

You have the power

2011-09-28T21:05:00.003+10:00

This post tonight is about 2 fabulous ladies here in FaceBook land... Now I know there are lots & lots, and I have had the pleasure of ‘meeting’ so many .

I‘d actually love to make ‘love letters' to fabulous ladies a regular feature on my blog, but this is not about the other ones tonight. Today it’s about Jessie from Art Candy, and Angela from Yes, Dear. Because they are just who they are.

I was at the park today and my real life 'em & femme' got into a little argument. "Hey" I said to Em, “You have the power to make your sister happy”. In our house that basically means ‘you’re the older one, what do you think you can do to stop this from escalating’ but it works. It always works... Power does things to people, and my Em handles it well!

Now, some people don’t know the (positive) power they have, but they have it in abundance, just by the energy they radiate, how they use it for good things. Jessie and Angela have the power to me happy. They care. About the big things and the little things, and I am proud to call them friends..

I think if the little things don’t count, the big things never will, and everything starts out little ....

I just received the most gorgeous gift in the mail today from Jessie (along with my order). Not because I paid for it, or because she had to, but because she must have thought I was worth it. And do you know how much that can mean to someone?? Well, it means the world to me... (even though she scared my postoffice lady with the "be careful, contains explosives' message on the box! ) She always has time for a comment, a smile, a thought or a laugh, and she is one of THE most talented ladies I have come across. We are lucky enough to owen an original artwork, but I hope it wont be the last... She's got a heart so big, I am not quite sure how it fits in her body...

And Angela, who not only will take over the world one step at the time with her amazing blog, her powerfull words, and pure honesty, she found a place in my heart from the get go. That lady is special, let me tell you! And because she is a big fan of promoting the handmade community, she's been holding competitions, and I was lucky enough to win a voucher for 50$ in the last one. Because of my uhm, poetic abilities... I used it towards buying a stunning lamp (made by the extremely talented Georgeeko). And because it will never outgrow my girls, I (we) get to keep it forever....

They are two people who’s posts I look forward to in my daily news feed. Whose posts make me smile. They have the power to make me smile, and they always do!

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy"

They are both...

xx Ilja

Friends to be

2011-09-23T17:15:00.002+10:00

To be (friend) or not to be (friend), that’s the question

Do you except too many,
do you feel the need to cull
Is your social life too busy,
are you experiencing a lull

What to do when you regret
doing this or writing that
After clicking “yes un-friend”
Did you hesitate when you pressed send
Would you go back and befriend once more
Or procrastinate till your head is sore
What if you’d ‘not now-ed’ someone
And since then you’ve heard that they’re the one
To make facebook a better place
Would YOU ask them, and lose face?

What happens when you accept a request
That forces you to decide who you like best
As you upset friends who you’ve never met
Do you just move on and let THEM fret?

I am ME, and MY friend you’ll be
Stop worrying about those you won’t see
Facebook is lovely, but it’s not the end
So will or won’t I be your friend.....

I get friends request, like you all do, and sometimes I take a break from saying yes. Not because you scare me, but because I might scare you.... It’s my little haven, my ‘I am letting out a big roar just of frustration’, and I don’t want you to think I am , uhm, not capable of functioning. I am , but hey we all have those moments...

On other days I simply like the anonymity. (Over 90% of my Facebook friends are people who I have met in real life. They already know me. With the rest I can pretend....)

Sometimes I accept, sometimes I don’t. Some days it all depends on where my mood takes me that moment. Is it another opportunity to make a better friend, or don’t I, as I struggle with my time management enough as it is...

So, for those that feel rejected (for now), here is a sample of my posts. They are ME, 100 %, so you feel like you know me just a little bit better! Besides, you don’t really want to read about whether my kids had an 'accident', what I had for dinner... (Do you?)

*I am me. Not you. ME.... You will NOT like all the friends I choose, and you won’t agree with everything I say...I am ME. I am loyal, reliable, stubborn, and while I should wrap my honesty up in a bit more cotton wool sometimes, at least I’m honest. Don’t ask me if your bum looks big! I am tolerant, impatient, and at times confronting, I am a shoulder to cry on. I am serious, I am funny, too uptight and a lot of other things you never even knew. You might not like all of me, but take it or leave it. I am not the kind of friend you will see every day, but I am the kind you can ring in the middle of the night. I do accept kindness, trouble you’re in (NOT trouble you make), sadness, and laughter, but I will NEVER allow people that hurt others for fun, into my life. Oh, and I like wine...

*Fake nails are not my thing I think... I just dropped a million q-tips on the floor as I couldn’t hold the box properly, and am constantly afraid they will break off when I pick my nose or scratch my ear... oh well, that's it-I'm off! (like a bride's nightie hubby would say.....)

* What do you give the friend who buys BOTH your girls a recorder? 1 million small lego pieces? a bag full of Styrofoam balls with a hole in the bottom? I woke up this morning with Femke sticking it in my ear and 'blowing' a cheery 'wake up mummy' song.......

* Crap judges...

*I am in love with my children

so, are you disappointed? Is it just what you thought?

Wishing you a fabulous weekend
xx Ilja

down time

2011-09-18T20:59:00.003+10:00

You know, pretty much everything in my life is going right. I am happy, I love my family, my life, my friends, my job, my house, and just somehow I just wasn’t feeling it this week. I mean I know it’s all there, but still...

When I was 18 I hadn’t lived a great life. I hadn’t felt safe, hadnt had the pleasure of growing up in a stable family environment. At that age, I was the most shy, most insecure teenager that lived. Or so I thought anyway, in my egocentric way of thinking...

I decided on a whim that seize the day was my new motto and organised myself a year in the US, as an au pair. How and where that courage came from I still, to this day, do not understand. At a time I was too afraid to ring up my friends ‘just in case' they had forgotten who I was, I took a year off after hight school and flew to America.

My flight from Amsterdam was delayed and upon my arrival in New York I learned I had missed my connecting plane. So I did what every other insecure innocent 18 year old that watched ‘as the world turns’ would do. I faked it! I walked over to the Americain Airlines desk, put my ticket on the counter, and said ‘please book me on the next flight’. I had always wanted to say that (it was either follow that cab, or this). Well, I made it to my destination, and that very second my year of transformation began. Being somewhere where noone knows you, allows you to become who you want to be. You can re-invent yourself so to speak. And as one of my wonderful friends said when I returned,’ you finally became YOU’...

I have never looked back, and have become a firm believer in
A. dreaming (without them you have nothing to work towards),
B. choices (there is ALWAYS a choice, no matter how hard it may seem)
C. being positive (Do I even need to explain that one...)

I did however feel like I failed myself this week. I felt like Bridget Jones in the movie, lying drunk on her sofa, singing all by myself...

I just felt, well, all by myself....

I am moving to King Island, and while everyone keeps telling me it will be great, (which I know it will, I DO), it still scares me. I have started over many times in my life, in different places and different countries, and this will be no different. It will be an adventure, and a fun time in our lives. But still... my head feels full of chaos and my daily chores just too overwhelming. So I took the week off.

I wouldn’t be me if I wouldn’t give myself a big kick up the behind and say lets get on with on it! But somehow I didn’t feel like that either, so I took the week off. Just like that! After talking to some fabulous women, I just thought, 'you know?, I can give ME some time too'. Not the weekend away ME time, but the down time.
We’re not superwoman who have to feel happy all the time, and if allowing ourselves some down time is what we need , then so be it. I sorted through the un-necessary chaos in my head, and just stayed at home, without any pressures. I sorted out my girls clothes, I sorted out my office. I cleaned my house (although my house self destrusts within 60 seconds) and I made lists. Lists with what to do, what to pack, what to buy.. and I didn’t sew a thing...

But, and this is important, I DID buy a fabulous dress. And low and behold it was the dress that did it for me. I haven’t bought clothes for myself for at least 3 months. I still haven’t lost the weight I’ve been wanting to shed. For an honest, straightforward gal like myself, I am a cheater at weigh ins. I am the kind of girl that stand on the scales tippy toed thinking haha, I weigh less than yesterday. I lean backwards so it doesn’t weigh as much, while I know I am fooling myself. But that dress made me go: 'that dress is ME, and I am going to wear it like it meant for me'... And, the next time I feel down, I am letting myself feel down. And on top of that, I am going to wear this dress and look fabulous while I am feeling down. Because the only way is up! Or as my youngest says- to the pub. But that’s a whole other story....

xx

Another confession

2011-09-14T19:13:00.002+10:00

This for those of you who wanted to see me write this, and for those of you who didn’t think I would ;P

I have an addiction. And it’s quite bad. Hubby knows about it, and while he doesn’t like it I guess he accepts me for who I am.... He knows, ‘happy wife, happy life, and if I am satisfied , his life will be easier too.

I know it’s bad, that bad I would spend all my money on it. The mags I hide under the bed-yes, it IS my dirty little addiction. I don’t look at them every day-it depends how much I need a fix-but when it’s late at night, and I am all alone I look it up on the computer too. I might even use napkins to wipe my drool.

I am embarrassed about it, I am-you have to believe me. I am. The last couple of years its only gotten worse though, and now even when travel, I look for it on my holiday. I know it’s there, everywhere, and most of the time it’s cheaper overseas too. And I don't like paying that much for it-not when I can practically get it for free.

The reason I am coming out with it now? My kids know about it. They know their dad doesn’t like it, but they know I do it anyway. And I can see the confusion in their eyes when I say that dirty word. The worst thing? I think they are like me.... They get excited too. But their age.. they are just too young!

Last May, when we went to Holland, it was one of the first things I did. They’re very tolerant there, and you see adds for it anywhere. People don’t care... and you know what? They even offer food, refreshments, for when you get tired during the whole experience. Because lets face it. A magazine isn’t nearly enough when you can get the real deal.

And just now, I crossed the boundary, the 'threshhold': I ordered online (Yes, it pains me to 'write' it out loud). I hope one day they’ll be more discreet about the packaging-I don’t always beat hubby to the mailbox. And I don’t always like his disapproving looks. But that aside, I cant wait until it arrives. My new fix. Each page better than the next. Smooth lines, perfect fit. All the screws....

Oh yes, I can feel the tingle already, I really can’t wait till my catalogue arrives. To order yours online, follow this link. Just don’t tell your hubby, he might not appreciate it as much as you do....

xx Ilja

ps. I did it, I did it, woohoo, I did it!

Emma

2011-09-08T19:57:00.004+10:00

I am not a perfect parent, and I do not raise perfect children... And I feel frustrated and guilty just like the rest of ‘us’. When I was thinking about my blog posts and my children (they are part of the reason I am writing this), I realised I have written much more about my youngest than my oldest. And not because I love her more, not at all, I guess she’s provided us with more ‘moments’.

(She’s the girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was really really good, but when she was bad she was horrid)

Now that is not quite true at all, when you compare her to other 4 year olds. But it is when you compare her to her sister. Kind of-as with children, NOTHING is black and white, and besides, comparing is NOT good, and doesnt get you anywhere. Still, we all do it, don't we? Compare...

My eldest is one of those good children. Who listens, eats her dinner, does what she is told (who slept through since 5 weeks old!). Who cried for me the first time when she had her 2 month needles (yep, another guilt moment!). She’s a good girl. Not that my youngest isn’t, but she’s more work. Cant deny it... She’s not the paint the wall, or cut up clothes kind of girl but the ‘I can't walk cause my legs are tired; the 'my arm accidentally flung out and pulled my sisters hair’, the 'over the top, over tired, over it all’ kind of girl. I love them both like mad, utterly, completely, and, they both look like angels. But... Do YOU ever feel guilty, because you feel you’re spending more time on, or with one child than another? I do...

My eldest wouldn’t hurt a fly. Is always happy. She’s a fairy, she really is. Well, to be completely honest, an energizer fairy. The 'take the batteries out, and she’s still going'... the 'cut off the head, and the chicken still runs' kind of girl. But a fairy nonetheless. She’s the kind of girl that is everyones friend, and is so content within herself that she couldn’t even imagine people would not like her. And I love her with all of my heart and soul, and hope that the world doesn’t crush her gentile spirit. I look into her eyes, and I get scared for her sometimes...

I feel guilty, as sometimes she gets less of my time. As she is older, she needs less guidance, less reprimanding. but still... And I worry, do I show her enough that I’m crazy about her, that she’s an angel in every sense of the word. So, a couple of months ago, we created our own little thing, like the ditto in “ghost".

Every night, before she goes to sleep I ask her ‘Do you know why are you special’? And she says “Because I made you a mummy".

So tonight, my Em, YOU are the reason for my post. Not your sister. And YOU are special. So much more so, then you’ll ever know! and I love you.....

xx your mummy

(aka Ilja...)

Room 80

2011-09-02T18:31:00.006+10:00

My friends have been scared for almost a week of this blog, ever since we got back from our weekend away. Promise me, they said, that what happens in room 80, stays in room 80... and I did. We almost pinky sweared on it...

The sheer excitement of it all had me up the night before. 3 Days and 2 nights away, with just grown ups, oh the joy. After I dropped off my Femmie at preschool for an extra day, I picked up 3 of the 6 friends who were coming, and on a road trip we went. You know it’s bad when you almost have to pull over because you’re laughing so much, and pmsl takes on a new meaning.....

It started quite innocently, a conversation about why English speaking people put ‘dutch’ in a saying, an expression. ‘double dutch’ is speaking nonsense, ‘dutch courage’ is needing to be drunk before having the guts to do things, and ‘going dutch’ is being too stingy to pay for someone else. Really, that’s what it comes down to. Us Dutchies leave a good impression, don’t we?! The French get ‘plaster of Paris’, and ‘French kissing’, so not fair! Well, there was one I hadn’t heard before, and as soon as I came home I had to ask hubby... ‘hun’ I said, why did you never tell me what a dutch oven really is.....

Anyway, on we went, and the more minutes passed by, the younger I grew (polite way to say I regressed to acting like a child) and the louder I got. Pure excitement, please forgive me....
And you should have seen 4 grown women pushing a shoppingtrolley-we all had a turn! And when we got the call from 2 friends that had just checked in, that we were upgraded to an ocean view room, a whole floor to ourselves (!!!) AND full hot buffet breakfast for everyone we did a little happy dance. In the middle of liquorland...

Needless to say we laughed. All weekend long. We found out none of us can really sing, there are certain words you should never say out loud in a shoppingmall, and we’re probably banned from ‘Cotton On’. But fun we did have!

I am still recovering from no sleep, but it was for a good cause. I needed it , I got it and I loved it..... We have enough ammunition to blackmail eachother for years to come (in a good way of course), but the best thing? That we felt comfortable enough to tell eachother anything, and that is worth gold. We could talk about anything and have different opinions and it still was all good.

To me, the things that are crucial in a friendship are (not necessarily in that order): respect, honesty, and caring. Truly caring.... That includes being able to be genuinely happy when good fortune befalls your friend(s). That will show just how much you care. Seriously, think about it! I hate jealousy and it has no place in my world. How often has it happened that when you have good news to share, you will find people are not really happy, that they wish it was them instead of you? I want friends who will say: “there is no one who deserves it more than you... Because that’s what I would say! Well, I felt we all truly cared!

Anyway...... I’d like to bring up a quote I shared before:
"Much of the vitality in a friendship lies in the honouring of differences, not simply in the enjoyment of similarities"

True, so very true.....

No, I won’t be sharing any photo’s, what happens in room 80 stays in room 80, after all. But I will dedicate this post to Dani, Jess, Amanda, Leah, Cass and Karla (and then some... ;) )
You rock, and I am lucky...

Xx Ilja

ps. I am the pink one of course......

It's all about ME

2011-08-24T19:52:00.007+10:00

I have waxed my legs, and painted my toenails. I have washed AND conditioned my hair. My make- up, Tigi Curls Rock and perfume is packed, as are my most fabulous clothes.

This weekend I will be showering on my own and even better, I will have wee breaks on my own. Without anyone asking to wipe any bums (oh dear, I hope anyway)... No, instead I am bringing chocolate and wine, and all things fine.

Yep, I am leaving. On my own. No hubby, no kids. Just me. ME!

Well, me and 6 friends..... and while my guilt is in overdrive (I was almost hyperventilating when I asked preschool to book Fem in for one more day, so I could have a break), but at the same time, I am enormously excited. Can’t wait even. And it’s as if they know, but my girls have been driving me mad this afternoon. I can deal with painting, and a mudbath, and even a terrible mess right after I cleaned up. But my achillesheel when it comes to kids play? Fake crying.... When they are playing mummy’s and daddys and baby’s and what not, and ‘the baby cries’..... Aargh, it does my head in! When a real baby does it, its cute. when my kids do it, it's NOT! And I said it out loud: I am really, really looking forward to my break... Of course, then I even felt more guilty!

I love my kids, I really truly do-they are my world, and have changed my world. For the best, and I wouldnt have it any other way! I have said it before and I will say it again: sometimes I am super mum, sometimes just a crappy mum, but I know I will be a better mum, by taking 5 minutes (more like 3.180, but who’s counting?) for ME.

This weekend will be about the belly ache kind of laughing, the singstar competitions, the chick flicks, the one too many wines doubling over, banging your head on the table with sillyness weekend, the no boys allowed weekend... One of the girls suggested maybe booking a massage, and you know what? I couldn’t think of anything worse. 'This is my weekend' I thought, 'where I have no one smearing snot on my shoulder, pulling my skirt down in public, or crawling under it, where basically, no one is touching me when I don’t want it. And I am certainly not going to pay someone, for touching me on purpose!!'

Don’t get me wrong. I love 'things' hanging off me, and I am the kind of mum that come Sunday can’t wait to see my kids, rush home, almost cry in anticipation, only to find them hardly acknowledge me because they are having so much fun with daddy-who’s the fun one in our family.

Can you tell I am excited?...

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a bath waiting for me to finish my preparations: getting utterly relaxed!!!!!!!

xx Ilja

Okay, if you have read this far down, you deserve to have a laugh.. I was going to get all smart and take this really cool pic of myself with a rejuvenating mask on that will leave me all refreshed, instead I look like the killer from Scream, and I have learned 2 things:
1 I will not make a good Santa Clause, and
2 I will not ever have plastic surgery....

Also, It's not always good kids are so honest:
Femke said: Why is your face peeling off, and Em said: is that toilet paper???

The scariest question of all

2011-08-21T19:50:00.004+10:00

Sunday morning, I am sleeping in. I first wake up to the sound of the coffee machine's milk frother, and know I can soon expect a coffee, brought to me upstairs. It comes with a freshly made croissant... While I wait for it to cool down, I snooze a bit more-hear my youngest come up the steps and climb into bed to cuddle me, and I think to myself “what a perfect morning”!

“mum, how do babies get into your tummy?”

Screech!!!! Imagine a vinyl record suddenly stopped, fingernails being scratched on a blackboard.... I open one eye and say half heartedly, hoping this will go away “ well, a mummy and daddy put it there”. “I know” she says “but how do you put it inside?”. I was very honest, and told her I was too sleepy to explain something that tricky at that moment.... She went downstairs and I thought ‘1-0’ for mummy!

My kids have great deductive skills .... I called my 4 year a frog today. “Ha” she said, “I am not, I can’t be”. “Yes you are” I say again. “No I am not” she said. “Frogs don’t wear clothes. They don’t sleep in a bed, and they don’t like to eat chocolate. So I am not!” Well, I had nothing else to add. 1-1......

You know sometimes, when you are laughing out loud to yourself, because something happened that was really funny, and when you tell other people, they just don’t get it??? Well, you should have been at my house today...

I have NO problem talking (you guessed that one hey?), and I can use words to my advantage. It used to be my job... well, today I was crushed by a 4 and a 6 year old. Again..

She didn’t give up and returned in the afternoon with back up. Her sister...
“Mum, how do you get babies in your tummy?” I spat out my coffee. It was the 4 yr old again! “I know” said the 6 year old, “they come from an egg, like the chickens”.
“Nu-uh” said the 4 year old, “ Things grow from seeds , like trees and fruit-they taught me that at pre-school” At this point hubby is turning beet red, either from embarrassment, or laughing so hard-still not sure which one. I do think I could hear him coughing up ” I’ll let you take this one”. Why I ever wrote that nice post about him I can’t remember right now! pfft....

“Uhhm”, I said: “well, you’re both right.. a little eggie, and a seed. One from the mummy and one from the daddy And together they make the most beautiful babies, like you...”. Try and insert a lovingly smile here, to thwart them, and induce an ‘I love you mummy, but can I play with play dough now’....

But alas, no such luck. It kept coming: “ How do they get it in there then? Do they make a cut in the tummy, and put in it in and then sew it up, so it can grow?”. That called for another ‘Uhhm’. I was so unprepared! “But how, how do they do it???” I have no more coffee left to spit out, and am furiously wondering how to explain so both the 4 and 6 year old are not traumatised for life. Or maybe I am just thinking about myself here....
I want to go back to the day my 6 year old told me in the car that she’s to young to have babies because ‘her boobies aren’t big enough to have all that milk inside...’. Ooh my gorgeous child, if only that was it...

So me, being such the clever communicator (sounds like the terminator today), said the best thing ever. “Ooh” I said, “you know how mummy and daddy use words sometimes, that you don’t understand? Well, there’s this kiddy book, that explains it perfectly, and it’s made just for kids. How about mummy and daddy buy it, so we can read it to you?” And you know what? They were happy with that. And went off to play with playdough... And, with Australia post being so slow these days? That bought me at least another 4 weeks!!!

And, just for fun (when in doubt, laugh...), here is another example of my fabulous parenting and communication skills....
“Mum-on tellie they said ‘shut up’. Thats not allowed is it?”
"No" I said, "that’s rude. Lets chop their heads off”

So sue me....

Xx Ilja

ps. But feel ever so free to share some tips or advice on what to say-or just make me laugh, either would be greatly appreciated!

Kort maar krachtig

2011-08-17T20:14:00.003+10:00

The people in my future can thank the people from my past.
I thank the people in the present for accepting me just the way I am ....

"Life doesn’t give you the people you want
It gives you the people you need
To love you, to hate you,
To make you, to break you
To make you the person
You were meant to be"

ps. My blog post title means, 'short & snappy' according to the dictionary. I think sometimes, you dont need a lot of words, when you can say it with a few,,,,,,

She......

2011-08-15T20:55:00.002+10:00

I love quotes. Please don't pretend to be surprised... I don't know if it's because they sometimes seem to say just what I can't explain, or how they put into words things I haven't even thought off...

When in doubt: eat chocolate, drink wine, be kind, laugh AND quote!

When in doubt, quote! More on my favourite quotes later, but this one blew my mind. It's not so much a quote as a story. An ode to women. To her....

This is what caught my eye:

"She turned her can’ts into cans, and her dreams into plans"

This is all of it....

"She" by Kobi Yamada

She must be something special. She is. Celebrate her.
She loved life and it loved her back. Celebrate her passion.
She listened to her heart above all other voices. Celebrate her wisdom.
She pursued big dreams instead of small realities. Celebrate her priorities.
She saw every ending as a new beginning. Celebrate her resiliency.
She discovered her real measurements had nothing to do with numbers or statistics. Celebrate her self-esteem.
She was kind, loving and patient…with herself. Celebrate her tenderness.
She woke up one day and threw away all her excuses. Celebrate her accountability.
She realized that she was missing a great deal by being sensible. Celebrate her spirit.
She turned her can’ts into cans, and her dreams into plans. Celebrate her goals.
She ignored people who said it couldn’t be done. Celebrate her independence.
She had a way of turning obstacles into opportunities. Celebrate her magic.
She went out on a limb, had it break off behind her, and discovered she could fly. Celebrate her faith.
She discovered she was the one she’d been waiting for. Celebrate her self-reliance.
She added so much beauty to being human. Celebrate her presence.
She walked in when everyone else walked out. Celebrate her friendship.
She just has this way of brightening the day. Celebrate her radiance.
She made the whole world feel like home. Celebrate her warmth.
She decided to enjoy more and endure less. Celebrate her choices.
She decided to start living the life she’d imagined. Celebrate her freedom.
She colored her thoughts with only the brightest hues. Celebrate her optimism.
She was an artist and her life was her canvas. Celebrate her brilliance.
She ran ahead where there were no paths. Celebrate her bravery.
She crossed borders recklessly, refusing to recognize limits, saying bonjour and buon giorno as though she owned both France and Italy and the day itself. Celebrate her joie de vivre.
She held her head high and looked the world straight in the eye. Celebrate her strength.
She not only saw a light at the end of the tunnel she became that light for others. Celebrate her compassion.
She designed a life she loved. Celebrate her joy.
She took the leap and built her wings on the way down. Celebrate her daring.
She said bye-bye to unhealthy relationships. Celebrate her happiness.
She remained true to herself. Celebrate her authenticity.
She made the world a better place. Celebrate her.

I am adding my own, with a snort, a laugh and a wink ;)

She leaped before looking. Celebrate her 'dutch' courage....
What would you add?

xx Ilja

When it all goes pearshape...

2011-08-10T20:09:00.004+10:00

Okay, before I start, I need to get 2 very important questions out of the way...

1. Why is it, that when I pick up my eldest from school, she looks like she has been abducted by monkeys, dragged back to the zoo to be de-liced, and swung from tree to tree for the best part of the day, while all other kids look like they have gone to, well, school......? I don't get it!

2. What do I tell my child when she asks, after we have explained there are chicken that lay eggs (like ours), and chicken that you eat (we try to be honest): 'how do you know when they are ripe?'.... please help....

Right, back to business...
When I immigrated here to be with my hubby, almost 10 years ago, I said I would follow him to the end of the world. And I did. I came here! Although I was secretly happy he wasnt born in Timboektoe, or Lapland, but here in Australia.... and I would follow him anywhere-it might just take me to King Island...

He's there right now, sorting out some business. It might happen. It might not, we wont know till he gets back. I'd like to say KI had me at 'hello', I mean, have you heard abut their cheese??? But then again, how confident am I to go to an island which has a town called 'Pearshape... Does that mean, my body will feel right at home, or that it's not the best place to be when it all goes to s..t? How about Curry? Or Egg Corner... Hmmm..... (okay, made the last one up. Slighly...)

I love adventure-and as I've said before, I'm not afraid to go new places... But it does give me butterflies. Some good, some bad... It's only for a month or 4, and I can live with that. Right??? So before hubby took off, I gave him a list. To check if:

Is there a nice school for Em?

Can I keep up my Facebook addiction?

Is there a daily limit to how much cheese they will sell me?

Do they have a liquorland?

Is there a postoffice?

How many weeks do I get in Melbourne to go Xmas shopping? And what's my budget?

Only time will tell, I will keep you posted...

xx Ilja

This is where I go, when I go...

2011-08-06T21:53:00.002+10:00

“this is where I go when I go:
It’s a room with no windows and no doors, and walls that are thin enough for me to see and hear everything but too thick to break though.
I’m there, but I’m not there.
I am pounding to be let out, but nobody can hear me.
This is where I go, when I go:
To a country where everyone’s face looks different from mine, and the language is the act of not speaking, and noise is everywhere in the air we breathe. I am doing what the Romans do in Rome; I am trying to communicate, but no one has bothered to tell me these people cannot hear. This is where I go, when I go:
To the place where my body becomes a piano, full of black keys only-the sharps and the flats, when everybody knows that to play a song other people want to hear, you need some white keys.
This is why I come back:
To find those white keys.”

This is a quote from ‘House Rules’, by Jodi Picoult. I love reading her books, and the way she tackles modern day issues, controversial issues, everyday issues... This books is about a teenage boy with Asperger’s syndrome, also sometimes called high functioning autism.

My last post was about gratitude.. And I said my life was comfortable. I said I was grateful. And I am ... But I feel I should have said I was lucky. And fortunate, not just grateful.

Because I know not all people are as comfortable as I am now... I know not all children are born healthy. I know that some are healthy but are still diagnosed with disorders, or special needs...I know it’s not as simple for other people. I know it’s not always that easy....

It made me realise that all the years working with special needs kids will never make me understand it all. It will never make me believable when I say ‘I can understand what you are going through'. I don’t and I never will. Not even “I think I might be able to perhaps understand” will cut it...

I did not keep in touch with the families who’s children I looked after. I wasn’t supposed to, and it was dicouraged. To some I was another aide, to some I was another teacher. But I do remember the smiles, being the only one in care allowed to rock them to sleep. The only one whose hand they would hold. I wasn’t there for the hard bits, after 10 hours I would go home and leave my work behind. After 10 hours I got to go home, have a rest, and a peaceful sleep.

I want to say this... To all the parents who have children that have special needs, different needs. Those children who need a bit more attention, a bit more patience. Whether its asd, or any other mental, physical or social illness or disorder, I would like to say this: I admire you. While my happy days might be based on no tantrums, no falls, no emergencies, yours might be on manageable ones. While my bad days might be about one of my children having a bad moment, or ME having a bad moment, 'only' one bad moment might be a good day for you....

I will never fully know, and I will never completely understand. I can sympathise, I can admire, I can honour you... so, with this post I do.... To those, with endless patience, mountains of strength, oceans of courage. Those with overflowing buckets of love, with beautiful children who’s smile means more than just an ‘I like it’ to you, I dedicate this post. To those who’s supply of understanding is bottomless, who have so many ‘ I have got to get through this day and I’ll be alright’, to those who suffer lack of sleep, to those who’s love still doesn’t falter, but only grows stronger. To those who’s proud moments are much more memorable where as I might take them for granted. To those, I dedicate this post.

Life works in mysterious ways.... and I d like to believe that special children get special parents too.

So to those special parents, with special powers, I am in awe. Of you... xx

I am grateful

2011-08-01T21:35:00.005+10:00

I am grateful for:

The most important things in my life...

-coffee and wine

Just kidding, let’s start again, in no particular order, just the way they enter my mind tonight:

I am grateful for my hubby, my children, my comfortable home, and my comfortable life
I am grateful for being healthy, and for having a healthy family.

I am grateful for being able to work from home, doing what I love

I am grateful for coffee and wine (yes, I had to put them in), my bed and my potbelly (!)

I am grateful for imagination, for having children that, when I am not well and need an extra sleep, spend all day playing pirates with no more than a yukkie blow up boogie board and two empty kitchen rolls,

I am grateful for kids who are kids and mess up the house like kids should. Most of the time...

I am grateful for the internet, and phones of all sorts, AND skype, to make my so-far-away loved ones feel so much closer by.

I am grateful for the good and bad days- the last because they make the good ones even better, and the the first because, well, they're good. And the good days outnumber the bad by far.

I am grateful for my slowcooker and my microwave, concealer and (toe)nail polish.

I feel grateful for the amazing friends in my life. Friends I have had for so long, and friends I only made this year. Friends I can be completely myself with, friends I can be honest with, who I can enjoy a picnik with, who I can share the before shots with...

I am grateful for loving my life

What are you grateful for?

xx Ilja

women, in black and white

2011-07-27T21:09:00.003+10:00

Tonight I’m going to be black and white. I know you’re used to more color from me, and it’s really not this black and white in life. I know that (I do!).... It’s just easier to get my point across.

You’re probably not supposed to write blogs when you’re a bit sad, but the good thing is when you are-you don’t care! And it’s nothing a bath and a glass of wine cant fix. Which reminds me, I found a receipt to Liquorland in my tax file. Do you think I can claim?

You know what? Sometimes I wish I was a man... that’s right, a guy, a boy, a bloke.... when they get into a disagreement with another of their sort, they might fight, might throw a punch, but afterwards they slap eachother on the back and have a beer. And if they’re younger they can go home and cry and get hugs from their mummy.

There is none of the whispering, none of that pettiness, none of the ‘did you know?’..
There is not so much jeaoulsy, just a little envy here and there. And they say out loud, "Man, I wish I were you" *

(*being black and white here.....)

Put a group of women together , and there’s bound to be a pecking order, some do more pecking than others, their eggs might be larger, shinier and hatch sooner, later , are bigger or smaller and better etc. *

Do we all forget that it’s okay to be different, but to all just be? To be happy, to be creative, to be positive, to be original, to be YOU. A kind you? We all have our own unique talents, and let’s face it, I am an awesome picture drawer on the steamed up showerwalls, but I am crap at fluffing chicken feathers. See? We all have our talents-they don’t need to be the same.

It’s much easier to be kind than to be angry, and it costs much less energy. Really.... and there is no need to be jealous or intimidated. Women can be amazing, don’t you reckon?

Women will hold your hair when you vomit, you can go to the toilets together, scream your self silly (I know, I have that with my kids too, but it’s just a bit different...)
They’re the first you call with laughter and heartache, the ones who know what to say with often just a word or two, or without talking at all. They don’t get uncomfortable when you cry, have perfected hugging without ‘you know what’, and always give you the biggest bit of cake ; )

So, while it might not always be easy being a woman, it is sure is fun...

You know I am addicted to quotes, and when 2 wonderful people brought me to Marie Antionette and I did a search this link with quotes came up! Scroll down-she's 3rd on the list, but the others are quite good too... Did you know, that right before she was beheaded, she stepped on her executioners toes. You know what she said : Pardonnez moi, monsieur’. I am sorry, mister.... . So the moral to this story? Be respectful till the very end, because that’s what you take with you. Not how others treat you, but how you treat others. We’re women. We’re not perfect, we make mistakes. And no one said we all had to like eachother all of the time. But respect doesn’t hurt, does it?

I also know that as women, we need to be able to vent, just let it all out; it makes us feel better. So for a laugh, here is my last quote, in case you need a smile tonight:

"No matter how good she looks - no matter how sweet she talks - somebody, somewhere is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.”

xx Ilja

to my Femke

2011-07-24T20:47:00.004+10:00

To my Femke, who is turning 4 tomorrow,

To my out of this world Femke, my beautiful 3 year old, for one more day.

I love that you believe in fairies and mermaids, and think that gnomes pretend to be pretend..... I love that you see see good in everything, and I wish I could bottle your belly laugh-if laughter is the best medicine you’d be making everyone better.

You and your sister and my best creations ever, your dad my most fabulous choice.
I hope you had fun at your party yesterday and will enjoy tomorrow too- I remember your birth, and the last 4 years like it was yesterday.

I love that a gift from the heart means as much or more than a gift of money to you, and you say the best thing are mummy cuddles in the morning.

I love how you combine non-combinable words that are just so you, and I live how you give me hairtiles in the shower every day (Hairstyle? Ponytail?). I am just sorry I am never brave enough to leave the house with them...

I love how last year all you wanted was your own wagon, so you could help daddy in the yard, and how you-when you pick your own clothes I hope we see nobody who knows I’m em&femme designs...

I love how you’re too scared to go to bed tonight as its the last night you’ll be falling asleep as a 3 year old (mummy, when I’ve turned 4-will I ever be 3 again?)

I love how your love for me is all consuming

I love you, and happy birthday to you.....

xx Mum

ps This will be waiting for you when you wake up in the morning

The cake that was my downfall

2011-07-22T16:14:00.006+10:00

It’s 4 pm and I admit defeat. Kind of early for the day I know....

This cake has become my downfall..... the blue cake with colorfull butterflies, will become a colorfull cake (hurray 100 & 1000’s) with blue butterflies. And, when in doubt, use chocolate!

I will drizzle it over the 'thing that almost looks like a cake' tomorrow when I have cleaned up each and every little sprinkle that has made its way onto the floor when I tried to turn it sideways to cover it with more, you guessed it, 100 & 1000’s... I had big ideas, and in my head it really wasn’t all that hard.

So, if you were worried about me making the first cake I posted... You were RIGHT. Ooh, I love each and very one of you that thought I had already made it but that was a pic of pinterest. The second cake was too... Off pinterest and too hard!

Here I was, happily constructing, flapping on icing like I (s)lather myself in the shower, when I heard this little voice “I thought you were making it blue”.... Oops sorry.... I suddenly wished I was 2 years old again, when you can hide behind your hands and still believe you're invisible to everyone else. Ooh, its hard to disappoint an almost 4 year old! Dare I tell her I was refreshing 'made-it' like a madwoman ALL day to nab a skirt from Oopsidaisi? Will it make her happy that I did succeed.... Its just that while I was doing my happy dance I forgot the blue coloring.....

And dear hubby? The one and only from my last blogpost? He is on his way to the shop to buy me bottle of wine. That will make me feel better for sure.....

I will post a pic tomorrow, of the cake that was never meant to be........

happy Friday,
xx Ilja

ode to daddy

2011-07-20T16:29:00.005+10:00

‘Events’ happening around me in bucket loads lately (not to mention the past) have me asking THE question??? THE all important question for me, as I am raising 2 girls.

If my daughters would end up with a man like their father, my hubby, would I be happy for them, would I be proud??? Is the man I am with someone I would wish for them?

They say the best thing a father can do for his children is love their mother (and treat her right). And a mother? Well, the best thing she can do is look after herself.... and make sure she is happy too. Because we know that when we are happy with who we are, we are better mums (and partners) too.

And what would make a woman happy, in particular one who is in a relation ship? To be valued, to be respected, to be listened to, to be comforted, to be told the truth to, to be ‘just’ cuddled, to be nurtured, (and please note I mean this to be a two way street between any 2 peope in any relationship), you get my point don't you?

Asking too much? I don’t think so? You don’t ask, you don’t get......

Maybe one day my hubby will read this, but I am too scared to make him now... He’ll get embarrassed-and even though he looks really cute with flushed rosy cheeks, lovey dovey stuff makes him uncomfortable. Holding hands? Fine... helping me out every day of the week with cooking and cleaning or whatever needs doing, fine.... but appreciating this gesture, being romantic?? Probably not! When we had our first dinner out he looked me in the eye, lowered his voice, touched my face and said “cheers, big ears, 2-4-6-8 bog in, don’t wait, when you’re finished help your mate" Or at least I think thats what he said. I have blocked that from my memory!

When I was with an ex boyfriend, we may have looked the part, looked the ‘same’, but I didn’t think we wanted the same, were going in the same direction. With hubby , we couldnt have been more different. The music, the holidays, the sleeping in. But very early on, we knew we wanted to end up in the same place. In 50 years time we want the same thing. Besides, we met in a bar called 'heaven', how could that go wrong (hihihi). Logistics meant we had to sort out some things first, but almost 12 years later we are going stronger than the house we built!

While I considered him to be the man of my dreams and my one true love, a soulmate I didn’t. I always had this idea in my head of flashes of lightning and reading eachother’s mind etc.... Untill I read this...

Wow. Then lightning struck! Just as I thought it would.... He has made me a better person!

You know what? I always think he is my reward for going through bad stuff.... not having a happy-go-lucky childhood. I think he’s the one who makes it all worth it. Our children do too, but lets face it-they wouldn’t be here without him! My mum told me when I was younger, make sure you pick a good father for your children. And you know what. I have!!!! And he’s not only my reward, he is our childrens too...

So to answer that all important question? Yes. YES! If my girls end up with a man like their dad, I would be happy. I would be proud. I would know that they are happy. I could not wish for more.

So while he will not read this, it’s out there... At least he 'kinda' knows, as I tell him (almost) every day, I would not have moved across the earth, and left everything I knew behind, for someone less, someone I didnt love as much. I love him more.

And since he won't read this anyway, his 3 girls got together, and did what they do best! They, We, laughed...

He cleans our fluff, puts up with our stuff
He strokes our hair when we cry in despair
He kisses our tears
And soothes our fears

He takes the kids so I can sweep
all my clothes in one big heap,
And loose some weight though I’d rather sleep

He makes us smile more than once in a while
Makes us proud, beyond a doubt
He filled our heart right from the start

He’s rather here than in the pub
Eats my meals, likes my grub
mixes the bubbles in my tub

He puts up with our mess
Tries to care less
about bums looking big
in yet another dress

He’s there for me
And for the girls
Though he must get annoyed
By incessant pink twirls

The constant talking
In his ears
About clothes and hair
Instead of gears

We are lucky
That we are
Because he is the bestest
The bestest by far

We love you!!!!!

xx Ilja

What's in a name?

2011-07-15T21:00:00.002+10:00

Yesterday, I took my daughters out for the day. A promise is a promise, and while sometimes it takes a while to deliver (can I blame the cleaning? Ok, I guess not), I always come good in the end... So off to the macadamia castle we went....

When they were petting bunnies, and the kind lady asked if they had a bunny what would they call it, every child went ‘fluffy’ and ‘whitey’ and ‘ bunbun’. And what does mine say? ‘Kanoodle hopper’.... Yes, that’s right! I wish we were still in the 90’s and I could hind behind the superduper mobile phones they had back then. Not the silly slim thing I was trying to take a picture with...

For those of you who don’t what kanoodle is (neither did I till I just googled it and laughed myself silly-though that might have something to do with hubby trying to act out option 3)...

1. kanoodle Getting it on like wild monkeys

2. kanoodle Close head to head chat with the opposite sex; often at the local bar. No hitting implied!

3. kanoodle A kanoodle is when you run up behind someone and slap your hand back and forth between their inner thigh while you make a noise by moving your tounge back and forth in your mouth.

I hope the kind bunny lady wasnt aware of all this!

So I am thinking , what's in a name . Really... We’ve already established that with Femke, which is supposed to mean peaceful little girl , we got it wrong. Oooh how I love her, and she is beautiful and I could eat her up, but peaceful she is only when she sleeps....

Anyway, I remember my parents telling me they picked my brothers name because my mum was teaching a boy with the same name, and he was the loveliest boy. I remember working with kids too, being pregnant and trying to find a name, and nothing would do for my soon to be born. No, I said, he picks his nose, she whacks her friends, he doesnt eat his lunch etc... But my name? They heard on the radio and thought it was cute....

Once upon a time on Facebook I tried to explain how to pronounce it. Ooh how hilarious that turned out to be... Here it goes: 'ill' like in sick, 'ya' like the German for yes... and I clutched my belly laughing at all the other people explaining theirs.

But did you know, my name is really a boys name? In Russia it is. Which shouldn’t really matter you think. Well, there you are wrong!!! Because where did I go on an exchange program when I was 17? To Russia. I remember the most amazing subway stations in Moscow, the family I stayed with in Minsk and the beauty of St. Petersburg.. But mostly? I remember the humiliation...

Before we went, we had to write a letter, to explain who we were, what we liked etc.. to match us up with families in Minsk, and I wrote about me. That I wanted to work with children, babysat babies, did ballet (and I was a kick ass dancer too!) etc... and you know what? I didn’t get picked! I got off the train and no one wanted me..... A very kind and generous family took me in, along with my best friend at the time (they picked her, and felt sorry for me), but what surprised them? That I was a girl... I admit not having the most, uuhm, feminine of bodies at the time, was rather a late bloomer, but what did they mean? 'Ilja is a Russian name' they said, 'for a boy....' So when they were reading that letter about babies and ballet and pink and what not and they ran for the cold Russian hills!

So , what’s it’s in name?? Whether it's ‘Apple’, or ‘Seven’, don’t decide on a whim.... trust me! You never know where your children might end up!

Xx Ilja

The fabulous 4

2011-07-09T19:54:00.006+10:00

“What was I wearing when I was born” said Femme. “Nothing” I said, “you were butt naked!”. “ Ooh, that is so rude” she said, “everyone could see my private seats?” (don’t ask-it’s a crossing between privacy and private parts I think).

How can my baby girl turn 4 soon..... She’s only cut the umbilical cord off last year.... and I am not kidding! Family and friends know I am not, Femke was mine, no doubt about it. And I couldn’t have given her to someone else if I wanted to. Even as a baby she wouldn’t let me go...

Now, it’s all different and I’m breathing a big sigh of relief, but also a sigh of sadness. She’s getting so independant! She ‘s talking about having babies and getting a job (Nope. Still not kidding), and I know, before I 'know' it, that moment will be there. I mean, I still remember the moment she was born-I was the one that brought her into this life, literally, I pulled her out! And now she is almost 4...

Like any other child she’s got her momens (and they are LOUD, they have me running through the shops naked, they have me belly laughing-see previous blog posts), but she is mine! Okay, and her dads, I think he might have had something to do with her too...

2 years ago, my brother made a prediction about his nieces. Em was going to do well and marry a rich bloke, he said. And be happy (I’m so happy he included that. ‘Merry’ before ‘money’ I say!) . She is the sensible one, the balanced child. Fem on the other hand “is going to go through a goth stage, sleep with every bloke she meets before finally settling down and becoming very succesfull” . I am scared to say she really loves her black already!!!

Our children couldn’t be more different. They have the same parents, were raised in the same house, but oh boy! One is a fairy, the other a goblin (in temperament that is....). they both look like angels and are the most delightful kids (in my subjective, rose colored, bound with blinders eyes). One likes mayonnaise, one likes ketchup. One likes orange juice, the other apple juice. Fresh bread and toast. And the list goes on. Did both of them really come out of the same tummy? Well, thats easy, I’ve got the strechmarks to prove that they did.....

I have learned to be careful what you wish for... When I was pregnant I didn’t want a boring child. Nooo, I wanted a cheeky one-that was way more fun.... I should have had a lobotomy instead!

But they did both get me my business, they inspire (d) me, and let me sew, and it’s only fair I include them as much as I can..... Can you guess who’s who?

Xx Ilja

ps... the singlet is by oopsidaisi, the logo is by castle design

And another photoshoot...

2011-07-08T14:42:00.012+10:00

You are only as good as your last job, and reputation is everything... But in the world of clothing labels we're nothing without images, photo's of our products.... How else would customers know what they are buying, what they are getting themselves-or their children into (quite litterally actually)...

You know by now that I 've been working with photographers, this is 'part' 3, with images of the lovely Angela from Illusions Face and Body Art.

I first 'met' Angela on Facebook last year, and I say met, though we havent had the pleasure of really meeting (she is based in America, and I'm here, in Australia). She had mostly photo's up of her incredibly face and body painting (and pregnant bellies!), and I was very intrigued...

When the opportunity of a collaboration arose I just couldnt say no, Angela had a vision and I could NOT wait to see it come to life. And.....I also have to give her full credit for the dress. Yes, I sewed it, but she put all the details together, from the choice in fabrics to the binding, to the colors in the facepainting that matched it so very well. I am a big advocate of honesty and have to give credit where its due....

Judging by the number of comments I reveived when I posted a sneak peek on Facebook, she was right, and what a marvellous shoot it was....

I will post an album to FB with these gorgeous images, as the quality just isnt as good on my blog, but enjoy nonetheless. I did....

love this one as it's such a natural shot!

the best kind of photo, a smiling girl wearing a dress I made, a better compliment than that you dont get!

I think this might be my fave. The contrast of the pretty dress on the gorgeous girl against the backdrop of bricks and grass. I just love it!

For more info, pls visit any of these sites:

http://www.illusionsfaceandbodyart.com
http://www.wix.com/illusionsimages/photo...
http://www.illusionsimages.blogspot.com

xx Ilja

Coulda Woulda Shoulda

2011-07-03T20:47:00.006+10:00

With a list as long as all the ricrac I own put together, I should have been more productive this week. But I wasn’t. It made me wonder, how long can I use this jetlag excuse... The not taking showers till noon, feeling like my brain was put through the washing machine AND the dryer, the sitting in my PJ's all day long, doing everything that didnt need doing, and nothing that did need doing (I washed my fabrics, but am not quite sure if we'll have clean undies to wear!)

I have been pottering about and faffed around, but the real drive just wasn’t there this week. And then I had to deal with something that ‘apparently is not my fault, yes it should probably be fixed ‘in all likelyhood’, but until it is it's out of your hands’, and that just sapped my energy.... And what's even worse? I am hungry and there are no cookies in the house!

I KNOW all of my pressures are self inflicted, noone is actually making me do anything, but where are those days I just lay on the lounge and read 3 books in a day without feeling guilty? Oh right, that was before kids....

Which reminds me:

(I came upon this through a group of very inspirational women)

So for now I am just going to take it slow. Untill the jetlag passes and my drive comes back to put a spring in my step. To take the ideas out of my head and put those scissors in motion.

And I will leave you the way I mostly do, with a quote I love:
“I wasn't born to follow and I'm not sure if I was born to lead, but what I'm certain is that I was born to fight my way through life and win”

xx Ilja

And the winners are...

2011-06-29T12:31:00.006+10:00

And the winners are.......

Hang on, not so fast, first I will make you read through my post first, I can feel the suspense!

Holidays in Europe is as much about not working and spending time with the family as it is about shopping in stores I havent been in for ages. Just to shop, not even to buy. And if I buy it doesnt have to be for me (although that is fun too....). every year I bring back something for different people, to make it even. Our luggage allowance was only 120 kg after all....

This year some of you will get lucky!

So after the pics of some of my purchases for ME, read on to find out if you get to purchase one of my 'holiday finds' for only 1$.....

Love this bag and all the colors in it. Walked past in twenty times and then just HAD to buy it. I could only bring it with me flat, that's why it still looks a bit squashed....

Do I need to explain?

Obscure marketstalls are the best. Where else would you find a doona cover for 10$? Of course he didnt look too impressed when I opened the packet to make sure it was a 100& cotton, but I'm sure he could smell a sale....

And some clothes... while I love kids clothes to be bright and colorfull, I wear, uuhm, white. And black. And they go perfectly with my new Gisele Bundchen black & white rose thongs. Yes, the kind for on your feet!

Okay, are you ready? Listed after the item(s) they get to purchase if they want to, here are the 'winners drawn by random.org:

2 little bodysuits size 00: Janice McKeaig

3 boxes in red with matching bag: Donna Mackey

3 boxes blue paisley: Jessics Edie

3 piece bathing suit: Sarah Jane Kale

Love is in the air set: Sarah Eather

2 tops 18M: Mia O'Neill

Please email me at info@emandfemme.com.au to claim, I will redraw in 48hrs if I dont hear from you......

I know not everyone can win, sorry to dissapoint those who didnt! I also know it was frustrating for some who couldnt comment, I am having similar problems on Facebook and blogger, and I do hope this will be resolved soon.

Thanks everyone,

Ilja xx

I hope to see you all soon on my page, next week I will start creating again. Right now I'd sew my fingers together....

I'm coming home...

2011-06-23T03:24:00.005+10:00

I’m coming home, I’m coming home- you tell the world that we’re coming home
I’ve gained a lot, ate lots of food, shopped around when I was in the mood.
I’m coming home, I’m coming home , we're almost done, so we are coming home
We rode our bikes, sat on a boat, went down a slide, and fed a goat
Ate heaps of chips, drank lots of wine, and we slept in, till after nine
We laughed a lot, till our bellies hurt, went ten pin bowling and threw some dirt (ok , made that up-what else rhymes?)
But basically, we had loads of fun, though we could have used, a bit more sun......
(do you know that song by P Diddy? I have it stuck in my head and making it up as I go along)
La la la la, la la la la..........

In one day we’ll start the journey back to Australia. With a bit of luck and no ash getting in the way, it will only be a 3 day trip to our home back in Oz. Only 3 days....... (not jealous of me now, are you?)

It has been an amazing 5 weeks (and without good internet probably a lot more interesting as I got to do loads instead of hanging out behind the comp. The way it's supposed to be in holidays...). But where I have always left knowing I would return the following year, this time it’s different. Maybe in 5 years, or 10? Who knows.....

As a family we are all ready to go home again, sleep in our own beds, play with our own toys (yes, the sewing machine for me), have more space. But I am also sad, to the core , and more than a little apprehensive. What if I don’t see ‘my’ people again... My parents are 70, so who knows.

But I have found out many things this holiday. My body needs a detox (yes, there is such a thing as too much mayonnaise), my kids need to go to ice cream rehab, and girls under 15 (read 7) really do not enjoy shopping as much as I hoped. What is wrong with them!

But while I know I will always be Dutch (you can take the Dutchie out of Holland, but you can’t take the Dutch out of me), ‘the balance’ has really shifted for me. Anyone who has ever immigrated, or even moved far away from home, will know what I am talking about. For the first couple of years after moving to Australia I would have gone back to Holland in case we ‘broke up’. Even after building the house, and maybe even the first year of Emma’s life (theoretically-as I would not take my daughter so far away from her father), but now, now I would stay. No doubt in my mind. 10 Years and 2 daughters later, my life is there now. My friends are too. And while I will always long to visit Holland, and I leave a piece of my heart here every time I leave, I am looking forward to coming home too. My home that is Australia now. I kinda miss those backyard kangaroos......

And as I have been super organised and washed all our clothes here, I can go straight into washing my fabrics when I get home and start sewing again (along with some other ‘special projects). After the jetlag wears off anyway, and I’ll get out of my jammies.....

See you soon
Ilja xx

sharing my fabulous finds....

2011-06-18T22:05:00.003+10:00

Finally.....

I always said I would do a little ‘sharing' of some fabulous little finds while on holidays, and the time has come.....

Normally I’d be offering one of my own items, custom made even, but after 4 weeks on holidays-AND without a sewing machine, this is a much better option. For me. Plus, it’s my first year on FBK being active on my em&femme designs page, and I’m incredibly delighted to see I’ve got over 3000 likers, and almost 10.000 hits on my blog. If that’s not a reason to celebrate, I don’t know!

So, to abide by the Facebook rules, this is a superlicious sharing to celebrate me being on holidays-not just another give away. I also ask for a contribution of 1$ per ‘find’, so it’s not free, and while I invite you to make any comment under the pic you like (only one comment per person per pic), I am NOT telling you to do so. That’s not allowed. Of course, if you’d like to have the chance to put your hands on it, you better....

In plain English: yes, I am giving away the lot, and if your name gets drawn via a random ballot, you get the opportunity to purchase it for a 1$. Postage included. So, any questions? Here is the link to the piccies on FBK (so I know which names to put in ‘the hat’), it closes on the 28th of June-names will be drawn at 9 pm AEST that night-and published here on my blog.

Link to Facebook

Good luck, and thank you... thank you for being one of the 3000 and thank you for sticking with me while I have been away.

xx ilja

What would you do?

2011-06-11T19:07:00.003+10:00

What would you do?

I think I offended someone the other day, by my actions which were 100% well intended. What would you have done in my situation?......

Coming across a very cute restaurant with in and outdoor seatingarea, we decided to have a drink with the girls. As there was a gorgeous little area set up for the kids in a corner of the outside area, we decided to sit there. One little girl on her own, holding her glass of applejuice, joined my girls at the little people’s table. She started rocking on her chair and fell over, wedging herself between the table and the glass wall, with her juice dripping all over her. Then the crying started, deep sad sobs for her mummy. No one came...

Now I am a mother and my instinct was to pick her up so at least she was a bit more comfortable, upside down with apples leaking into your nose has never looked that appealing to me. So I did , dried her face a bit with a napkin (she had dirt in her eyes and it was hurting) and asked her to show me where her mummy was. She was still so upset she could hardly talk. I held her and started looking for her parents. Finally, her dad camse over and just grabbed her-looking at me like I was some pervert who try to steal his daughter. Hey, I wanted to say, where were you when she fell and hurt herself (I fully acknowledge this could happen to anyone). But of course I didn’t. He then abruptly walked away.....

Hubby and I then thought about what we would have done-how we would have reacted, if the shoe was on the other foot. I’d like to think I would have said thank you but who knows? Should I have not picked her up? I was a complete stranger after all? Hhhmmmm, food for thought......

xx Ilja

holiday 2011- a village with no roads

2011-06-06T17:24:00.010+10:00

We have been very fortunate to go to Europe every 12 months for the past 5 years. Our flights and sometimes main accommodation are a gift from family and we stay in this fantastic location, in a little grass roofed bungalow with private courtyard and many amenities close by, like an animal farm and a water playground-all for free. And this will sound like we are spoilt (we HAVE been, and we ARE), but this year we also wanted to do something different, so we for almost 2 weeks we have been renting a car and going to a new place every 1 or 2 days. Sometimes we visit old friends, sometimes we go where I have never even been. Holland is tiny compared to many other countries-but offers more than I thought. Last year Hamish his aunt sent this email with photo’s of a little town in Holland, a town with no roads. ‘That’s where we well go’ said the kids. And we did.....

Now out of all the days it was most important that the weather was nice in Giethoorn, and preferably no rain. Well, after a glorious sunfilled first 10 days, it rained. In Giethoorn. And still, it could not have been prettier. The most idyllic place ever. For Dutch people that’s probably some island with white beaches and clear water. I’ve been spoilt in that as well as we live a 5 minute’s drive from one. But this was idyllic to me. We went for a walk, armed with boots,umbrellas and raincoats, and made a little pitstop to get warm; ordered latte macchiato’s and hot chocolate, and ate the best applepie I’ve ever had in my life.

And we took some pics. I have left all pics 100% unedited. Maybe I suffered from picnic withdrawal, but at least you well get to see how amazingly pretty it is. Each house has a hay roof, and quaint little love hearts hanging of their doors. Clogs in all sizes at the front of the house. They have the most manicured garden, all surrounded by the tiniest of waterways you can navigate with a boat. Sometimes rowing with oars, sometimes pushing with one of those big sticks they use in Venice-like we had our own little gondola. Ooh the serenity.....

lantern lighting and healing balloons

2011-06-04T01:59:00.007+10:00

Yes, you read that right, not helium, healing...... Out little family is doing great, spending this time together has been healing. Not that we’ve been through any trauma, or hardship; we have always been doing pretty well, feeling pretty happy! But with Hamish and I working a fair bit last year, and saying ‘no’ too many times to “can I paint’ or ‘go to the park’ can take its toll. Too many times of having breakfast with always someone not there, and too many times of feeling guilty can be too much. Not for the girls, for me-I needed to 'heal'

We were in this tiny little windmill shop, where they were selling home made cheese, beer and jam, and in the middle was this lantern stand. with balloon like lanterns for sale. Like in ‘Tangled’. Emma jumped up and down in excitement and she didn’t even have to ask if we could buy one. Tangled is a movie Em and I saw in the cinema on a ‘girls night out’, and I can still remember the fun we had. But it also became something more. We decided to light it that night at sunset and all make a wish. The girls did, and while Hamish was probably too preoccupied with not setting himself on fire, I thought of all the things I didnt like but could easily change (feelings of regret, guilt etc). and instead of making a wish, when we lit it up and let it go, I let go of those feelings.

As I said before, sometimes I am supermum, sometimes just a crappy mum. And that’s okay. I know I don’t always make the right decisions, and I can yell at my kids when I shouldn’t. I probably could have played more soccer with them, or drawn more pictures. But when I see how they’ve been so far, and how easily adjusted they are and kind of well mannered in most situations, I know that it’s okay to mess up sometimes. They do, but so do I, my mess is just not that easily visible in paint or colors-even smells. They will cope, so will I!

So it’s been healing this family time. When I wake up I see all members of my little family. I hold hands with them each day! We laugh and enjoy and get excited by the littlest things, and we needed that. To enjoy each other and not be caught up in other things. We picked strawberries the other day, such a simple thing to do-but what fun we had! In the end it’s the little things that matters most...

Holiday 2011-Stop 2, Zeeland

2011-05-26T07:19:00.013+10:00

We have picked up a new member of the family. His name is Tom. TomTom to be exact. Oh how we love him, and boy does he makes us laugh. We couldn’t have this kind of holiday without him.... TomTom is the name for a GPS device here in Holland, the kind that helps you to get where you want to go. I think it’s TomTom because he says everything twice. And I reckon he gets frustrated if we don’t listen rightaway. They were doing roadworks and we couldn’t take the planned route. He almost shouted at us! In her sleep Emma said one night ‘300 meters to the nearest exit. Take the exit. Then left’.... A family that laughs together stays together. And we are in hysterics by making fun of Toms voice. And we guess what he is going to say next. Which is quite hard if you have no clue where you are going! But I guess it’s one of those ‘you had to be there moments’...

Anyway, we needed one. We rented a car for 10 days after arriving in Amsterdam, to see some places both Hamish and I haven’t been to, or to see people who we really, really want to see (back to Germany, and Belgium!). We have just spent the 3 most idyllic days on the most South Western ‘island’ here that boast to be the cleanest beach in the Netherlands. Compared to Aussie beaches it might disappoint, but I fell in love with Holland all over again.

I was 25 when I immigrated to Australia (10 years ago now), and was ready for a change. I have always loved being Dutch and recognise the massive potential we were all given. Health wise, education wise, travel wise etc. But I longed for a change-and Australia DID deliver. But after a year not being here, I got a tingle when going through customs, arriving on ‘home soil’. I LOVE Australia with a capitol L, and feel extremely privileged to live there, but you can’t take the Dutch out of me. When I made my way to the baggage area all I could think was “will they notice I am Dutch-can they tell (like I did with some, ‘ahum’, other momentous times in my life)?

I have fallen in love with the people all over again, as well as all the beautiful spots, and roads and houses, and had to think to myself, was it always this pretty? Absence makes the heart grow fonder....

xx Ilja

Holiday 2011-Stop 1, Berlin

2011-05-24T04:45:00.009+10:00

For a trip that lasted 35 hours from start to finish, with 2 energizer bunnies and a claustrophobe, it went pretty well. Considering I watched 4 movies on the first, and slept for about 10 hours on the second flight, it went pretty well. So we had to do the mad dash through Frankfurt airport to make the connection to Berlin, (I really wanted someone to offer a ride on one of those cool airport cars, but alas....), and Femke lost the plot after she ‘beeped’ and had to be zapped by the metal detector. Those who know Femke knows the noise she can make when seperated from me! It sounded a whole lot different than the 'I wish you a merry Christmas" she was singing fom the top of her lungs on the airplane...) And there was NO champagne or a free upgrade to first class because of my birthday, but still, it went pretty well...

I have learned though that fake nails are not my thing. I am making more of an effort with myself, and day 1 was the day before we left. To complete my look, I put on very discreet, French nails, the same length as my normal nails, but very pretty. I lost one while sleeping, the second one at the airport before we even left. The 3rd one while on the plane, the 4th in Singapore. But I’m nothing if not prepared and brought a whole extra set, so I'm still good. For now....

We were picked up by a very good German friend form the airport. While Hame is born and bred Aussie, when he was 16 he went to East Germany on an exchange program, did a year of high school. This was less than 5 years after ‘the’ wall came down, and it was soo different than Australia. He often says it ‘saved’ him, as it instilled in him a need,a 'want' to educate himself more . Since then, he went back many times, and has worked all over Europe. And while he's been in Australia now for 10 years straight, his friends he kept...

On Sunday we went to other friends and had another marvellous time. They have a gorgeous little girl around Emma’s age. It's amazing that even though kids do not speak the same language, they still understand the language of ‘being a kid’. Jumping over (in) puddles, skipping and zigzagging around poles or streetlights, thowing a ball, splashing water... She calls my girls ‘the ones I dont understand’, but I don’t see it that way. Us grown up girls have all the words in the world and still we can’t make ourselves understood sometimes!

We’ve been wined and dined and chauffeured around. Treated and spoilt. We’ve been on boatrides, and swam in lakes. Visited asparagus ‘farms’, and went to playgrounds. We have been taken out and were cooked for. We had ice cream 3 times a day. We have NOT been hungry!

You know the saying ‘happy wife, happy life?’. Well, Hamish and I made a pact before this holiday to make it about the children-if they are happy, we are too. So if that means having dinner at a restaurant where they have a turtle pool so be it. And going out for lunch where they have massive playgrounds? That’s okay too. But it will also explain, why we will be posers and act like children. If you cant beat them, join them..... You will get a sneek peak into my holidays by looking at the pics I post.

This morning we left Berlin, and we almost feel we’d like to move here (the gorgeous shops –and CHEAP prices-have nothing to do with it, honestly...) Hamish isn’t a man of many words and quite the opposite of the social butterfly that I am. But he is loyal and would give his right arm for his real, true friends. It was so nice to see that the friends he met nearly 20 years ago, on the other side of the world feel the same way about him. I love him so much, and it was so nice to see he is loved here too....

We have just arrived in Holland today and are staying in this picturesque little town on one the dutch southern ilands. Bliss, I wish I could stop time.....

xx Ilja

slightly jetlagged and shopping

best friends & worst enemies

I love Berlin THIS much

Dressing for cool mornings and warm afternoons....

Posing in the Berlin framed sign

Now Em takes pics, Hame has no excuse not to be in one. Though it still shows he doesnt like the camera.....

The wall that 'came down' between East and West Germany in '89. The parts still standing show the most detailed paintings and inspirational messages

my Em.....

ps.I cant link light now (will try soon), but some of the clothes the girls wear are made/supplied by

myonebrownmouse, sugar plum tree, cutie bambootie and of course em&femme designs

THANK YOU.....

2011-05-18T20:22:00.002+10:00

Okay, I think this will be my 'Oscar' speech. So to speak....

I’d like to thank.... no hang on. I need you to picture this, it’s important. Don’t put me in anything above the knees. Not pretty...... leather is also not my thing, and I need to be wearing a dress that can hide a bra. Honestly! No dingly dangly earrings or I will be ‘squatting flies’ all night long. You live in the bush and you know what I mean...... Ooh, and don’t make my heels too spiky. I’ll just trip off the stairs afterwards... (Don't like me? This is your chance.... Grab it, and put me in the most hideous outfit you can think off!)

Right, got it? Am I looking positively dashing? Let’s get to it....

So, I am going on a holiday, will be away for a while. Almost 6 weeks. But not before I get to say thanks! Thank you for your support, your trust, your confidence. Thanks for your kind words, your encouragement, your help. Thank you for keeping my store empty, my sewing machine oiled, and for keeping me of the streets. So to speak.....

Thank you....

I have met the most amazing friends & customers & likers here on FB, I feel privileged to have ‘met’ all these amazing women. I have learned it’s hard working from home- I do not switch off. It’s always a quick ‘let’s see if there are any new emails, or a stitch to be sewn here, or this or that..... In return I have given up my social life, and I am probably known as the lady who drops of her kids in her PJ’s....... but hey, YOU, make it easier. Most of the time...

It’s been hard sometimes. On the kids, my hubby, on me.... but it’s also been good. And rewarding & gratifying. It has taught me to set my priorities, to enjoy smiles more and stolen moments. Not to mention Pyjama Day....

I have learned that I have enjoyed the creating SO much, it’s been good for me. I was a person before kids, have worked since I was 13, and while my family is the reason I am ‘alive’ (though sometimes they can eat me alive), I am more than just a mother and a partner, and my craft gives me that. An outlet, a way to be wacky, to express my love for color.....

And that's also where my blogs comes in. I enjoy the crafting and the mothering and the loving, but the talking? Boy, we have a special relationship. And getting things off my chest is great. The shower can only take so much (come on, who doesn’t talk out loud in there?) The good, the bad, the ugly (and lets not forget the pretty!). Still great! So to combine my love for crafting and talking is even better! Blogging is the new black!

While I will not be sewing (it was 10 kg in clothes or the sewingmachine, and my kids will tahnk me.....), I will be keeping you up to date on my travels, and sharing my fabulous finds with you. So stay tuned, as my give-aways will be happening through my blog. For young and old, boys or girls........

Now, I haven’t featured in some amazing movie that I can show you, although I would like some recognition for the fact I packed 4 people’s luggage for 6 weeks, in 2 bags weighing a combined 35 kgs (that means I can take an extra 57 kg with me on the way back)......

And that sadly floordrobes in our house are no more....

And that I have even cleaned behind the tellie and the coffee machine....

Okay peeps, I hear that music, it’s time to get off the stage,..... in a couple of ‘hours’ (very early tomorrow morning) I am on my way to almost 6 weeks of pure indulgence and an extra 20 kgs already waiting for me. Of fabric of course...... hopefully only a few on me....

You know I don’t take myself too seriously, but your support goes straight to my heart! Thank you....

Xx Ilja

Ps After pressing ‘publish’ this laptop will be packed in my groovy laptop bag. I think I have separation anxiety issues and am ready to shed a tear....

SUCCES

2011-05-15T10:19:00.004+10:00

Going on holidays and NOT doing much makes me think about the things I DID do, it gives me time to reflect on the choices I made...

I don’t like people who lie. It’s just not necessary I think, and it only makes it harder in the long run. One turns into 2, 2 into 5, and before you know it you can’t remember who you’ve told what to. Which is when you’re found out. Solution? Speak the truth, much easier to swallow....

But what’s just as bad in my book is quitting. Come on, I lie a little too, I dread the day I have to tell my daughter I 'borrowed' money from her piggy bank, pretending it was to be from the toothfairy...
But quitting? Or not even starting? NO-THING will change unless you change things!

I always think, yes is yes, no is no, but without asking it’s always a no! You will succeed in life, and you will fail, and that’s okay. Because you learn along the way, and hopefully get better at it. Get up again and get better. By stay down, get defeated and you won’t ever get anywhere.

What do ‘they’ say? “its better to have loved and lost than to never have been loved at all?” For me that means to put yourself out there and take a risk. Just be gentle on yourself how you define success. It doesn’t have to be an unattainable goal or something massive. And it doesn’t have to come in one day, take babysteps. Just TAKE steps....... (I read once that 80% of success is showing up). You know the quote” Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover” by Mark Twain.

So go on.....

The gorgeous Cherie from lace and ryde wrote as one of her posts the other day that she still feels nervous when she put a new dolly out there, thinking that maybe this time people will say 'pffft this one is crap' (even though we both know she couldn’t make anything crappy)...

I feel that way too. Every time I (take a risk and) post a new photo.. everytime I do something different. Because we put a little bit of ourselves in each creation, it makes us vulnerable. And taste is so subjective, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.... The Facebookside of 'em&femme designs' has been a massive journey. In less than a year it has become such a big part of my life. It's been a journey of selfdiscovery and of learning to stand up for myself, grow thicker skin, but also that of success . Personal success.... not everyone is always going to like what I make, and that’s okay. Because I prefer to make what I like even if it's not liked by others, than to make thing that I don’t........ My business has to define me, not you. Though I DO thank you (more on that later!)

"A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him"

I ‘d love to say to people with a dream, a goal, or simply a “I wonder if I should......”

start a blog

take trip

move

change friends

change business

even start a business.

DO IT!!!! Things will stay the same if you don’t, and at least you’ve tried. You haven’t been complacent and you’ve taken things into your own hands!!!!! And who know what comes out of it.

My head is already full of new ideas, and things I’d like to try out-we’ll see how far I’ll get-but I WILL try! A sketchbook is coming with me in my suitcase......

I’ll leave you with my favourite quote of success, it’s all the fine print!

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success"

Ilja xx

men are from mars

2011-05-10T21:46:00.002+10:00

Pink makes you stink..... we hear that a lot in our household, and poor Hame, the only bloke in this household, has to put up with a lot of it. Pink that is. Not smelly smells.... I personally think he rather enjoys all the cuddles....

But, let’s not be silly-there is a massive difference between us gals and the blokes. Haven’t we all read ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (we have a ...... and boys have a .....). Sorry....... You know, caves, and elastic bands and all that?
I have to say I preferred reading ‘why men don’t listen and women can’t read maps’, by the Peases-I wonder if they are still married..... That is a ROFL if you ever saw one! Besides, I am great at reading maps, and Hamish still doesn’t listen!

There’s this great picture in it of a man standing in front of a fridge full of butter. Even where the wine should be (wink wink), or the milk. Nope, it’s all butter, written down & displayed in big letters. And still, the man in question turns his head and yells out ‘hun, where is the butter’... Well, that is our household. We have an expression : ‘looking with your boy eyes’ and that means not seeing something that’s right underneath your eyes. Needless to say we use it a lot and laugh. Not sure if ‘daddy’ agrees so much though.....

I mean, it’s good there are differences. I am really not that keen to set mousetraps or take the bins out, and he just doesn’t get the sorting out of the girls laundry. The fact there is a tag in the clothes giving the size away hasn’t occurred to him. But thats okay.....

You know when little kids want your attention? They want you to listen to what they have to say-and they grab your head (litterally), and turn it and then proceed to scream in your ear so that instead of listening, you have to wipe away their spit and look for ear cleaners..... anyway... thats what I have to do to him sometimes. Turn his head I mean, not spit at him! He thinks with 3 girls he has seen it all, heard it all. But boy-does he have it wrong! We have a lot to talk about. All the time. Every day! And I don’t even tell him that I have to re-pack the dishwasher each night because for some reason he can build houses 3 stories high, but with 2 cups and 3 plates the dishwasher is full.....

Anyway, PINK makes you stink, WHITE makes you bite. BLACK makes you crack and NAKED makes you shake it.....

xx Ilja

ps. READ that book, if only for the funny pictures.... there's this other picture in it, of a couple in bed. The woman is thinking: he doesn't love me, he is not touching me, he is looking away, he is distant etc etc etc.... the man is thinking: there is a fly on the wall. I'd like to squat it!

a mother's love

2011-05-07T21:01:00.002+10:00

I am setting the scene... it’s 20.26 at the time of writing this. My eldest has just gone to bed, and my youngest is lying on the fold out sofa next to me. Sleeping her beautiful sleep....The potbelly is on, making even me sleepy at this time... Or just warm and fuzzy! I felt it today, it was in the air... excitement all around. There was snipping and wrapping, and yelling too- as they needed daddy’s help (mummy wasn’t allowed to come in). I think my youngest actually gave it away; that I was getting a garden gnome for mothersday (don’t ask... I have no idea), but hey, honestly-as long as it’s given with love it is the best present ever. I am NOT one of those people who sells their unwanted presents on ebay, I treasure them..... the gesture and the thought mean the most... When letting the girls buy presents for the other parent, we let the kids choose. Hamish got a table soccer set for Christmas, and I guess for me it’s a red hatted short fellow....

I am away from my mum this year, and while I was lucky enough to celebrate mothersday with her last year-this year we will be apart. 1000’s of kilometres apart. If you read my post ‘forgiveness’, you know how much I love my mum. Being away from her for the past 9 years has been hard, especially since she got cancer. It’s managable but one that needs chemo for as long as she lives, so it's hard nonetheless...

She makes me think about my own children, the mother I am and the mother I’d like to be, but if I’d write down all I wanted to say I’d be bawling all night long! I might try again later...

I can say “Do you know I love you? That I wanted you before you were born, I treasure the day I first held you in my arms, and I have loved you for every second before and since......

You teach me more than I teach you and while I do my best to give you all that I can-you give me more. Being a mum is the easiest thing I have ever done, but the scariest thing by far-because my love as a mother, exceeds any other. My dreams for you, and nightmares about you keep me on my toes, make me try my hardest.....

But like I said, anything more and I’d be crying deep into the night.....

And what do I do when I reach that point? You got it: I "quote-unquote". These are some of my fave’s....

*There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one

*A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie

*A mother never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn't take them along*

*There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect”

For dads, mostly....
*Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla

But the last one?
Every mother hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did, and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did.

I can tell you one thing-if my daughters find a man better than I did, they have won the lottery! xx

the big flop

2011-05-05T22:25:00.001+10:00

Do your boobs hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them o'er your shoulder
like a continental soldier?
Do your boobs hang low?

I read this somewhere and I laughed. Out loud! How did they know-I thought...

According to my kids I have floppy boobies and a droopy tummy-but at least I am soft. Very soft! Fem said the other day: mummy, you’re my warmer-uperer, you are like my potbelly. After which Hame said (of course, it was a trap cleverly set up by a 3 yr old-I bet he high-fived her afterwards), you mean she HAS a potbelly. It’s a good thing I love him...

But seriously, let me honest here... it’s a good thing I droop and flop. Because you know what? I’d be a floozy if I looked like Heidi Klum!
I’d be the parent mums gossiped about (did you see what SHE was wearing to assembly today?’ that short skirt, that tight top, did you? What a disgrace).
I’d be parading naked down the street, if I was cellulite free. If I had great legs, I’d flaunt them and swing them. And whatever it is you do with great legs. I wouldn’t know....

But, having said that, I am going to make more of an effort. Now I leave the house only with lipstick and nailpolish. And that’s it! Well, not JUST that, I mean in ‘extra’s. Of course I wear clothes. And my pink thongs. But I am going to dress up-and do it right.

Sometimes I drive my car to school and have this scary thought: Trinny and Susannah are filming me, only to show it back later-with reactions from my soon to be former close friends (I don’t know what happened-she used to look so nice).

I don’t need to be a floozy on the outside to think on the inside that I’m worth a bit more attention. I am worthy! Next week I have a girls night out, and the theme is dressed to the nines. I had to ask, am or pm.......I cant wait...........

Now, a very silly question I am always curious about? When asked who is your fave famous woman-who do you think is the most beautiful? What would you answer be? For me it’s not Angelina, or Elle, it’s Juliette Binoche. I just love her...... and I bet she wouldn’t tell me I have a potbelly either.....

xxIlja

I love...... Kris McCann Photography

2011-05-04T20:10:00.011+10:00

How can you not fall in love with that shot?

This is the pic Kris sent me as a sneek peak. "she had me at 'hello' " just doesnt cut it.....

When I started on FB, and the only likers I had were my friends who HAD to like me (otherwise I wouldnt make them dresses hihihi), I came across Kris at Kris McCann Photography. Or she came across me, I cant remember.... It was in the very very beginning, and her comments on my posts were always so encouraging-which is exactly what you need when you are just starting out!. I remember loving (and still loving) the way she takes photo's and how colors just seem to walk off the picture, right into 'your' world... Wow, I thought, I wonder if it would be too much to ask if I could convince her to shoot for me in the very distant future ....... So I silently gawked at the pics she shows on her blog. I am a bit of a babystalker at the best of times, and love those newborn shots, but all her other photographs look just as amazing! I adore the natural look of her photo's, like her 'subjects' or clients were just walking by, and out she jumps with her camera and snaps away. Have a look-the use if natural light will amaze you. Her recent shoot for Pinwheels and Pearls will make sure those wands dont last long.....

Anyway, I asked her a while ago if she would do me the honor of shooting one of my items, and I guess you know what she said. And I guess you can tell I am happy..... And can I just say what a FABULOUS find that suitcase was, not to mention those matching red shoes....

Please check out Kris' blog via the above link for the better resolution pics- See below for a selection of images. I will be uploading all of them to my Facebookpage now....

these have to be my fave I think....

Or this one.....

xx Ilja

threats and tantrums

2011-05-01T20:52:00.004+10:00

Super nanny would have been proud of me, and so would those English chicks with the weird hats (no, not Beatrice and her sister, those 'nanny 911' ladies)... I was super cool, and impressive.

And embarrassed, and red as a beet (I tend to blush). I wish I hadn’t sat on my sunnies the other day, or I would have been able to hide behind those big black anonymous shades.....

My kids are pretty good. Kind of. Oh well, what I am saying, at least they look cute! But it’s always been a pleasure to take them shopping. Sure you can hear us a mile away, and yes, there was that episode once when I was trying on clothes, and Femke (only 1 year old at the time), took her clothes off too... ‘Is that all?’ I hear you ask. NOOOOO... She then escaped butt naked and ran around the store singing. While I still had one leg in the ‘to try on pants’ I stumbled out and looked on in horror (she wasn’t toilet trained) and I was always one step (in pant leg) behind! But (here is when my good karma comes in) before anything disastrous happened, I was able to swoop her up AND get back to what I was doing. Needless to say I left the store with a lot of clothes. I came back when someone else was working and exchanged some for the right size.....

Right, I almost have heart palpations just thinking about it again...

I’d like to say, I’m consistent-and I don’t make empty threats. Okay I might a little.... I mean Santa does come even though I might have eluded to him maybe not coming because YOU ARE BEING SILLY. The trick now, is not to use the plane as a threat: If you don’t behave, when we are on the plane the pilot will...... You can hear them thinking: he will what: a.Throw me out. b. Land? c. Take away my little tellie? Yep, no hope there what so ever. They’re not stupid!

Anyway, we were food shopping, and we made lists and everything. Normally it works really well, and we sing our way through the aisles, crossing things out as we go. It all went perfectly until the girls started sword fighting with their new toothbrushes. One poked a lady who knows up where, and after my requests to stop, they still they kept going. I picked up Femke, and put her in the trolly (she is the only one that still fits). And that was it! She was loud, she was screaming, and I all did was laugh. I had not been there before with her. I have no problem leaving the trolly behind, did it once when Emma was 18 months, but we were so close to being done ! I did made sure not to make an empty threat. Kids can smell them a mile away. Other parents looked at me the way I look at them when I shop without kids: I’m SO GLAD that’s not me. Come on, let’s be honest here, we’ve all done that....

So I said NO McDonalds (I promised them as a treat-all they wanted was a Rio toy-and they haven’t even see the movie). And it got quiet. ‘ I will be good’ I was told. No, I said firmly, it is too late. And, I stuck to it. I went through the drive though as I couldn’t bare the looks & stares from the staff, as I only ordered one happy meal (okay, and one massive grand angus meal for me). They looked at me with “I’ve got DoCS on speed dial’ in their eyes.... But still, I got nothing for Fem. ‘You need to learn a lesson’ I said, but I almost cried because I felt so sorry for her. I did stick to it though!

I am now the mean parent, BUT at least I have a very well behaved child, who has learned her lesson, and never EVER wants to miss out again! And I can now take her anywhere... At least I hope so-I will tell you later how the plane ride went.....

I do...... but I'm not!

2011-04-29T20:06:00.006+10:00

Oh Will and Kate-Is it all you wanted it to be, is this your dream wedding? Or was the show for everyone else??

I am a bit scared, a bit nervous..... I have seen the most gorgeous weddingdresses today, displayed on FB (Anika and Katie just to name a few)... and I’ve wanted to put mine up. But just couldn’t. Why? Because I am not married! And you probably all think I am. Because I say ‘hubby’ all the time....

Which is silly, because I feel that way-I do! Hamish is not my husband, but he IS my hubby. He is... He is more than my best friend, the father of my children. He is more than my partner or my boyfiend... Just not my husband, not on paper.

More than 11 years ago ‘US’ started, and we are defined by so much-just not marriage. Making a long distance relationship work-one that resulted in me immigrating here, resulted in two gorgeous girls. Will we get married one day? Yes, I am sure we will. Am I in a rush now? No, I am not. I didn’t want to get married just for the visa, and now we are registered as a couple in so many ways (the immigration office, the tax office, etc), it’s taken a back seat to so many other things. We have a morgage, children, and more important than that, a loving relationship (ever hear ‘the best thing a father can do for his children is love their mother’? and vice versa of course!). There is respect, appreciation, admiration and love. I see many wonderful marriages as well as many trainwrecks (my own parents marriage for example). But in the end, it’s our relationship that counts. Being able to count on eachother. We do not have that piece of paper, I do not have a wedding dress, but I do have the love of my life, living with me. And in the end what more could I want?

sorry for showing the same old pics again and again-I will try and take more this holiday!

11 years ago

1 year ago

xx Ilja

ps of course I could write a post too on the arguments we have, but they are nothing compared to the love we have.... for eachother!

I dream of.... Tamarajayne Photography

2011-04-26T17:04:00.020+10:00

For me, one of the major way to define success of a brand, label, or business is that people look at it and instantly recognise it; when maybe you just see a little detail, but it conjures up an image in your head and makes you see the whole picture. It might even make you hear and smell things, or feel a certain way!
Whether I look straight at them, or glance at them from the corner of my eye while doing other things, I can instantly tell when photo’s from Tamarajayne Photography pop on my screen. The dream like, but oh-so playfull, ethereal yet realistic shots just get me every time. Imagine my sheer delight when she agreed to help me with a shoot (I just had to have her... and I mean that in the most decent of ways!)

I am working on a collaboration with 4 photographers at the moment. Each very talented, each unique. Tamara is one of them, and the first to be featured. Please, if you are not already a fan on her FB site, go over and become one (just click on the previous link). Get lost in sunsets and beaches, water and skies; it’s the stuff dreams are made off!

I love my clothes to be bright and cheerful, to make you happy just by looking at them. But more important than how you feel, is how your kids feel (sorry, I know you’re the one with the wallet!) It’s crucial that the girls ‘I’ dress love wearing the clothes, and feel comfortable in them. With or without a sash, with the adjustable waist slightly loosened or with straps to allow for growth. Because we all know being a kid is full of changes and surprises! Mine roll in the mud, get sand stuck everywhere, and don’t walk; they run. THEY PLAY!

The essence of em&femme designs could not have been better captured by Tamarajayne Photography, whose outdoor shoot almost made me cry... Her little model is stunning, and I’m going to put myself out there by saying, that I ‘d like to believe she really felt like smiling when she was wearing her (my) dress.
Tamara had full say in the design and color and knew from the beginning a beach shoot it would be. Vision turned into images that make me want to pretend my daughters won’t be jealous if I hang up a picture of another girl in my house. Becuase thats what I want to do......

Thanks Tam, for your time, but most of all your love of fabrics, photo’s, and anything visual in between. And I am happy fate brought us together....

People, enjoy....

(please note, for better resolution of these photo's visit Tamara's site (she'll publish the pics soon) or em&femme designs. The pics I posted here do NOT do justice to the real deal!!!!!)

Now I would be me if I didnt have a crack at telling the story here:

I'm walking away-is she watching? / Hihi, I guess not..... / I'm making a run for it then! / Oh, this fence is higher than it looked from afar / But I did it! / Aaah, the freedom, the wind in my hair / the sand slipping though my fingers... / Ooh, there you are-were you wtching all along? / Well better enjoy the peace for 1 last minute......

xx Ilja

a birth story.....

2011-04-23T17:20:00.013+10:00

(pics were still on old comp., so had to resort to taking pics of pics...)

When you ask my girls: ‘what do you want to be when you grow up’ they’ll say: a soccer player like my dad, a shopkeeper cause everyone gives you money, a sewer like you, or a punk rock ’girl’ with flowers in my hair’...

Me, all I wanted to be was a mummy. Ask the student who apparently wrote a thesis about me when I was 4....
I went to school, then on to uni, did my masters (all while having lots of fun as all youngsters should have), became very responsible and had some jobs, but still, all I wanted the most-was to be a mummy. That’s not to say I don’t have a drive or a purpose, a wish to be anything other than a mum, but I wanted it so badly...

When I saw that strip turn blue, oh boy, it changed my life (duh). I was 28 and we had only just started building our house. We were told by our doctor it would probably take a year. Well, we were just in time to put in an ensuite upstairs in our bedroom, for all the night time wee-ing. Needless to say I’m glad we did.... Now the girls are older, it provides plenty of entertainment, as our upstairs loo is where froggies prefer to climb when it rains...

I took to pregnancy like a fish takes to water. Loved it with a capitol L. Hubby brought me breakfast in bed for the first 3 months (Because he heard that would help, and while I wasn’t nauseous at all, I happily went along with it!), and I could have lit up the sky with my glow. I was a tad obsessive with my reading though, devouring everything I could find in print or online (what to expect, ‘up the duff’, etc.), and I probably had a grain of rice in my pocket ‘ as that’s how big the baby was’ at some stage. I reckon I could have delivered any baby, anywhere, I felt that knowledgeable!

I went to Holland to visit family at 18 weeks-not showing at all, but acting like a cripple holding my belly-wanting to shout out: can’t you see I’m pregnant?! And then.... at 5 months pregnant I saw a falling star. I looked at it and made a wish, that my baby was born healthy (I can say it now as it came true). That night I woke up in a sweat and thought: oh no, I forgot to add ‘and lived happily ever after’. The next night I added ‘and healthy for life’, the nights after that I kept going..... I am sure if there was an office staff for “falling star/wishes come true” they would have told me to piss off....

Bub was due on the 6th, and my doctor had said he really felt it would be that date, give or take a day. On that morning the phone rang and we got the call that Hame’s grandfather had passed away. Unexpected news for everyone, but I guess it always is.....

(1 week to go)

Because of all of the preparations and reading etc, I was never worried about the birth. Breastfeeding yes, but the birth? That baby has to come out somehow I thought. So when Hamish asked me if I wanted to cancel going to the funeral 3 hours away, it just wasn’t an option. 5 days after my due date or not! Strap me in, I said (and I’m not kidding-he had to)! I am so glad we went. I do, till this day think his grandfather picked out the best baby for us, ever! When we came home at 10 that night Hame said: whatever you do, do NOT have this baby tonight... You would have thought that after 6 years, he would know me a little better. I have a mind of my own, and so did this baby....

2 hours after we came home my waters broke. I was contemplating letting Hamish sleep and drive myself, he looks so peaceful...... Anyway, we snuck out of the house, not wanting to wake our guests. Did I forgot to tell you we had visitors from Germany at that time too? They slept in the nursery....

As soon as we arrived at the hospital, my contractions were fierce, between 2-4 minutes apart, almost off the scales on the measuring thingy..... Ha, I thought, this whole birthing thing will be over in a minute! But, bub was posterior, and I was just not dilating: 10 hours later I still had not dilated, and another 3 hours later they felt sorry for me and arranged an epidural. Now, I had to sign a form (literally signing my life away-I did read the fine print) and they actually put the needle in the wrong spot too (Hamish said he was happy I couldn’t see it). Apparently there is a 1 in 10.000 chance they put it in the wrong spot. We said then we should have bought a lottery ticket, but I think it came in the shape of Emma.... Anyway, my body has a history of rejecting painkillers, and after 4 big doses they told me more was out of the question as it was enough to put a horse down, it just wasn’t working. Just one of the few freak cases!

Nothing happened, until all of a sudden, I went from zero to hero-well, to 10 cm in half an hour and I was told I could push. Relief was an understatement! 3 1/2 hours later and the midwife freaked out and called it (the birth) an emergency. The obstetrician was called from home and I was prepped. You hear these stories about women screaming to their partners : you did this to me, I hate you’ or ‘put it back’. All I did was say SORRY. A lot! To Hame for taking up so much time, to the midwife, for vomiting all over her, to the ob-gyn who had yet to arrive. I was wheeled up to the theatre for an emergency caesarean. I do remember that bit. Too much! I was noisy and kept saying ‘it’s moving, it’s moving’ (like in alien) and ‘I am so sorry, I am so sorry (for causing all the trouble). There I was, with like 15 interns awaiting to assist in their first caesarean. Hamish was holding my hand and the blue screen went up while the anti- sceptic was smeared on my belly. The doctor showed me the knife and said “you will feel a little cut....”. Hame said ‘Ilja thinks it’s moving (you could tell they were thinking; with that much epidural she wouldn’t feel a thing), but Hame said it again, and the doctor checked... Low and behold, Emma was out 2 seconds later..... And then the epidural kicked in.... finally.... Or maybe it was the shock of having a girl. I was so sure it was going to be a boy called Quinn. But I couldn’t feel a thing from my neck down, had trouble speaking even...

Hamish coming down from an emotional high or low, didn’t know which place was up and down, and ever the responsible hubby he was focussing on the tasks lying ahead. When the doctor asked him what he wanted to do (meaning, would you like to cut the cord), all he said was: I need to go home and pour the concrete... If I had feelings in my arms I would have slapped him! Having said that, coming home from the hospital to a a concrete slab instead of mud was well worth it!

My placenta was stuck, had to be removed, so while Hame got to go to the ward and cuddle our new baby, I was left with an icecube in my hand- and was told to buzz the buzzer when the feelings in my limbs returned again. Not knowing where Hamish or my band new baby were was quite surreal.... but Emma turned out the best baby ever. She never even cried till her 2 month needles and slept through at 5 weeks. She’s had her ups and downs (like any other), but she has been the most delightful child. She just took her time, just waiting for the time to be right... They had warned me about her coming out all squashed, and maybe her ears and her nose flattened, but this is her 5 minutes after...

Emma just born

Femke was different.... I had a scare at 8 weeks and needed an ultrasound, but while the rest of pregnancy was exactly the same, they were so different inside. Emma, you could set the clock to, slept at the same time, was awake the same time. Every day! Fem however slept when I slept, and was awake when I was awake, and boy did she love music. She still does... Femke turned out to be one major mummy’s girl...

When someone or something frightens me, or scares me, I let out a big yelp. Earpiercing often! And I was told when that happens when you are pregnant, your baby gets a mole. I was seriously one 100% convinced I would give birth to a Dalmatian.....

One week to go with Femke

After Emma’s birth, I was determined to be in control. And no matter how much I loooove Hamish, I wanted a woman to be there, and asked his mother instead! At Emma’s birth he slept upside down for a while, wasn’t much use (and this is the most helpful hubby in history). So I rented a TENS machine to feel like I had more control and even though Fem was posterior as well, I did the exercises and turned her. Picture me doing the ‘miaowing cat’, and ‘the downward dog’. Whatever it was, at least it helped.

When contractions started I stayed at home till the hospital asked me to come in (this one being my second). At 2 pm we arrived at the hospital, at 4 pm we got allocated a room, and at 7 it started to feel slightly uncomfortable. At 10 pm the doctor came in to check my progress...: 8 cm. He was the same who arranged the epidural for Em’s delivery (whether it worked or not-he is my friend for life), though I doubt he recognised me. I loved seeing him again though, always felt that he was a no nonsense dude, who would help if asked, but at the same time respected a women intuition... So ‘I am too late for an epidural’ I asked laughing...... He left then, not sue if he was dealing with a loonie or not... I had a shower, felt I wanted to push, and asked my mil (mother in law) to get him back in. I was standing up when he said to push, and I pulled her out myself! I laid her on the bed, and she was the most beautiful thing I had seen since the birth of her sister. Out of space beautiful was the term we used I think.... In the background I could hear my mil and Hame say ‘lower the bed, quick, (like, ‘in case she drops her’), but there was no way-I was already a lion protecting my cub....

During labor I was translating songs into English from Dutch-love songs they were. All the while sitting on my pink birthing ball, focussing on each contraction, each one bringing me closer to my baby (with both girls we opted for NOT finding out the sex of the baby-and boy what an incentive that was during labour). I am quite stubborn and strongheaded (but fair too, I’d like to think), and it helped me so much. I have a goal, make a plan, stick to it, get it done. Voila, a baby..... Can you imagine me, at the height of my contractions, singing Dutch love songs from the top of my lungs. Well I did, and bless my Dutch friend who made the CD for me! No wonder Femmie loves to rock!
Hamish you wonder, where was he, when his mum massaged my shoulders, fed me apple juice ice cubes, gave me strength and encouragement? He watched the Asian soccer cup semi final while I was giving birth. I think we even sent him out for pizza... But his mum was a champ, and I couldn’t have done it without her. He was there to cut the cord again, but at least this time, I was the first to hold her....

Femke right after being born

First cuddle: Em the next day with Femke

phone bullies

2011-04-21T23:30:00.002+10:00

The next time someone rings to asks me feedback about my healthfund, tries to get me to change phone companies, or tells me my computer has a virus, I will tell them that it’s not a convenient time to call because:

I’m about to have a papsmear.

I’m about to make hot passionate love to my husband

I’m about to castrate my rooster, but they are welcome to stay on line

I'm about to audition for Australian idol, can they give me some constructive feedback

I’m about to retrieve a button from my childs nose, so could they please sing a song to distract her

Because telling them I’m having dinner doesn’t help. Pinching my kids so they scream doesn’t help, and neither does pretending I’m in a tunnel with bad reception like they do in the movies....

I do feel sorry for them, really I do-having to deal with all those hang-ups, and they just do their jobs, pay the bills, feed the family. I just wish they didnt call me.....

xIlja

ps I'm right on track for those birth stories on saturday...

how does it work?

2011-04-19T20:27:00.004+10:00

No, I am NOT throwing in the towel, nor am I abandoning ship or admitting defeat. Now, I'd like to be lying on a towel, sailing a ship and walking with bare fe(a)et, but that's another story...

4 weeks, and the countdown has begun; this many orders to complete, this many loads of washing, this many dinners (I like to eat), this many morning walks to 'walk those dinners off'...

I know for many people who have just joined the em&femme fun, it's not all clear what's happening, and how to purchase items. Well, it used to be custom orders, till this post.... mind you, I am still finishing all those orders!

Listening to my Fem counting in minutes (1 minute, 2 minutes, 3 minutes) eally proves I made the right decision, as I'm painfully aware I must have said "just one minute hun" too many times... Boy, if 60 seconds really last that long, I DO have 40 hour days...

So, anyway, no more customs for now, and soon it's time for my holiday. Lots of ribbon and bias binding buying (say the last 3 B words really fast-tricky huh?), and maybe a tad of fabric shopping... And, I've negotiated blogging rights (when hubby watches the soccer)-I'd love to do an intercontonental give away! And maybe share a photo or two...

Upon my return I will be focussing on ready to ship items in my store, without customs I will be able to sew 4 times as many items, and who knows, jetlag might be good for my creativity.... That's not to say I will NEVER do customs again, but just not as many, and only when I feel like it (it's my party and I cry if I want to).... I do love posting a pic for a customer, who's eagerly awaiting an image of their item, their posts (and all the others of course) brings a smile to my face every time!

As I am buying new fabrics in Europe, I will be cleaning up and out my stash-so stay tuned, they will all be for sale soon. I only have a yard or so of each one left, but it's enough for a creation!

Please, if there are any questions let me know, and I'll ty to answer them the best I can. Now its back to my beautiful sooky girl who is clearly in need of some mummy time.

xx Ilja

ps. little warning for this coming saturdays post. I WILL be trying to write done my birthstories. Well, Emma & Femke's anyway..... I have started so many times, but get distracted by looking at their photo's and going aaawwwww...................

friendship & quotes

2011-04-17T19:54:00.004+10:00

Please, let me warn you. If you don’t like quotes, step away from the computer. NOW. This one will be a quote fest, full of my fave ones, and in combination with friendship, how can you go wrong?

I’ve been thinking about friends lately, friends and friendships.. I always do before I am due to go back ‘home’ and see them all-the ones I left behind... (now I have to explain, that when I’m here home is Holland, but when I’m in Holland, Australia is home. Does that make any sense at all?) I am still amazed that 9 years after I immigrated here I still have them all, and they still go out of their way to see me. Having said that, I would do the same for them. And here I made some amazing friends too, ones I trust as much as the ones on the other side of the world. And I count myself lucky...

"No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of eachother's worth"

And if my life is measured by how much I think my friends are worth, I'd be a billionnaire a million times over...

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one”

And it doesnt matter when it's about your parents asking you to clean your rabbit's cage, a troubled childhood or kids that drive you nuts (not that mine ever do of course hihihihi). We’ve now all parterned up, gave birth to kids, but I still remember the day we met as clear as yesterday. We’ve been through so much, held eachothers hands, hair (if you know what I mean), borrowed clothes, money and boyfriends (oh those uni days), supported eachothers businesses, and shared Facebook journeys... We’re a weird bunch of people if you'd put all of us in one group-but that doesn’t matter-

"much of the vitality of a friendship lies in the enjoyment of differences rather than the similarities....".

And it's the same now... I have friends I go to the movies with, ones I go out dancing with, ones I go shopping with, some I share things with noone else knows... But with all, there is honesty and respect, and they wouldn't be my friend if that was lacking. I have never been a person who desperately needed to be friends with everyone I meet. We’re all soo different, and its impossible to get along with everyone. And to tell you the truth, I wouldn't even have the time-I hardly see the ones I’d give a kidney too. Because yes, that’s what I WOULD do for a friend. During many late nights you talk about ‘deep’ stuff, and think about what you'd 'sacrifice' to a friend. I’d give a kidney, an egg(...), my last cent. And I’m a true taurus when I say I’m loyal. All I ask you for is your honesty. Having said that, respect should be shared all around. I always say

"the only time to look down at a person is when you are helping him up". Or

"when in doubt, be friendly"...

My favourite quote is "true friends stab you in the front" and I swear by it, and I live by that. Being true friends isnt always easy, life isnt either... They give you a kick up the bum when you need it, lend an ear when a voice needs to be heard, give a hug when it's all too much-no questions asked. And when you smile when life is crap, and everyone else sees a smile, a friend sees the hurt and cares enough about you not to care about the complications that come with the question 'now tell me what really is going on'...

"friendship isn’t about being there when it's convenient, but about being there when its not" and

"Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over" .

Anyhow, a friend cares.... I have formed friendships with people across a variety of ages, from different countries, and many a background. Some know a little, and some might know a lot. But they all know ME, not someone I pretend to be.... So why this blog? It's just a little 'thank you' to all my friends who care about me, for sticking around, for sharing the fun times, for making the hard times easier, for being persuaded about MY worth. Thank you...

I wouldn't be me if I didnt have one more up my sleeve, Danielle, this is for you.....

"Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support"

Holidays

2011-04-12T19:59:00.007+10:00

We are the parents you love to hate! Our kids are great. And quiet. And well mannered. Okay, here comes the massive disclaimer: when we travel long distance that is....

Just this morning Em screamed so loud she put Paris Hilton to shame, and Femke was only millimeters away from severing her sisters finger. But, when we fly they are angels.... (of course now I have publicly proclaimed this the pilot will want to throw them out through the nearest window). We have the kind of kids that when a 25 hour flight is finally over, people say: Ooh, I never realised you had 2 kids.... I still dont understand why they cant be like this on the 10 minute drive to school...

Anyway, 25 hours of doing nothing, watching movies, eating (even if its airplane food), sleeping sounds like heaven to me. And that is only the beginning. Holidays in Holland is great fun for us. We eat (a lot), and drink and see cows and ride bikes and hold hands etc. and while I have negotiated a few blogs here and there we dont WORK! Not at all....

Now, I think you all think I am busier than I really am. It's the emailing that takes up most of my time-not my sewing. My life is the same as any other wahm mum: you never have enough time, there are never enough hours in the day. I try and fit as much work in my 8 hours of child free time a week, but of course school holidays dont come with those... And while I am reorganising orders around the loss of my overlocker, I am confident I'll sort it out: there is light at the end of the tunnel for me.

As you all know, when I come back from my break, I will (apart from a select few a month) NOT be taking on any more custom orders-instead selling through my store. Since I opened for orders in mid jan, I have been constantly booked and it has taken its toll. And not just on me! When I asked Em what the first thing would be that I'd rescue from our burning house, and she said: 'your sewing machine', my heart crashed to the floor and shattered in a million pieces. Now in her mind she was already sitting outside on the grass, but still.....

We need this break, as a family, and I cannot wait. While we're there, we don't do big things, dont make big trips, just are, as a family: We love, we live, we laugh, we learn.

5 more weeks....

xx Ilja

ps see below for some very insignificant pics from last yeas holiday, although they mean the world to me...

Bike anyone?

Cheese tasting

My love

My other loves, eating applecake with their cream

Idyllic bike ride-how gorgeous is that farmhouse?

a picture is worth a thousands words

2011-04-09T19:55:00.009+10:00

Pyjama Day

2011-04-05T21:00:00.008+10:00

It’s been one of those days.. Or two actually! And now I find myself eating the kids Oreo’s, not even wasting time to pry them apart but swallowing them whole! In the time it’s taken me to write these 2 sentences I’ve eaten 4. Yep. That bad.....

It started yesterday, with things just not going my way. I got up at 5.30, went for a walk at 6, and it was all downhill from there. And I don’t mean the road.... By 6 pm that night I had a fever and took myself to bed 2 hours later, and today was not heaps better. I woke up to NO coffee in the house (how did I let this happen), and after I rushed the kids to school/ daycare I had a millon phonecalls to make. Which would have been fine had the phone not been locked up in my hubby’s office (his mistake) and I could only play the guessing game who it was when it rang. A lot!! (yep, drove me nuts).

While picking up the kids I ended up with a flat tire, and while I have a masters degree under my belt, I am no good with cars. I can probably kill a lion if it threatens my kids, or rescue them from a burning plane, but cars? Nope, I stand by the side of the road helplessly (is that a word?) twiddling my hair.... A friend of mine has a clever hubby who happened to drive by and notice the ‘discrepancy’between the tires (and my impending tears), and within mere seconds had fixed it. Me? I just wanted to go home and cry... too tired, too many thing wrong, just one of those days...

Well, in 3 days my luck will change. School holidays are here. Call me crazy but I love them... I cannot get enough of waking up in the morning, not having to go anywhere, and having my kids waking me up with songs and stories and kisses etc..... And, what’s even better, this Saturday, we are celebrating 'pyjama day'. I have a friend who, just like me, enjoys spending the day with her kids- no need to send them somewhere else, arrange play dates etc., NOOOOOO, just stay at home, stay in your PJ’s and have a good old day off. Now, for me that means to go where no man has gone before... ‘Ahum’, I mean, where I haven’t gone before. To stay at home and not turn anything on (not even my hubby hahahah). I promised my kids that on Saturday, THIS Saturday, I will not turn on my sewing machine, overlocker, no, not even my computer. They are having fun planning how to barricade my office already! Instead, we will watch DVD’s. Drink coffee (me), babychino’s (them). Bake cakes (all of us), eat them (me), have slobbery kisses, loads of cuddles, heaps of ‘I love you’s’ -and you know what ... I am looking forward to it more than they are.

Hubby is away on a course again, so it’s just us girls. No phone calls, no visitors, no nothing. Just us and a heap of sugar and laughs. And what can be better than that!

xx Ilja

new sewingspace

2011-03-29T21:10:00.010+11:00

So, with a slightly sore head from the night before, and a very eager hubby (who wants to eat his dinners sitting down for a change), we set about this weekend and changed my 'office area'. Also known as the "burst of color" (or mess), the secret chamber (noone allowed but me-which is a bit hard because our fax machine and telephone are in here too), or basically 'mummy's playspace'. And the miracle? My girls dont touch anything unless asked. Yep, I am pretty lucky, although we did have a toothpaste swinging episode here tonight....

This is how I clean and tidy: I move everything from the 'to clean area' to another area, and voila, all done! Which is unfortunate, as I was about to do a post on my girls bedrooms. Now they have seemed to gained a lot of 'stuff', and I need to start all over again... I have to admit; I got kind of bored half way through ( I just have soooo much fabric, and piles of scraps, and little things I think I will use, but will probably never touch again), but with only some finishing touches left to do, I'm good to go. And I'm going, always going. Which is why we had to do this. Just not enough room....

This is what is looked like before, keep in mind the girls toyroom was heaps bigger than my sewingspace. You will feel sorry for them later....

And this is now.....

Come on, how cool are those kangaroos!

Yep, and this is what they ended up with.....

But I have to say, the colors of the kitchen look mighty good with the skirts I'm working on!

Yes, that leaves me with my last pic. left with nothing but a black pen (her texta's temporarily went into storage), Emma drew a picture of how she felt (we're big on expressing our feelings)....

did you notice the difference on mum and dads face in comparison with hers and 'sis'?

and the hearts all crossed out... hhmmmmmmmm.

xx Ilja

my bucket list

2011-03-27T21:33:00.005+11:00

Last week I asked you all to send in questions: what do you want to ask me-and I will answer as honestly as I can... One request was for my experience with labour. Child labour that is. And I have been thinking about it lots-to write it all down, not just for me, but for my children too- It was a happy experience (of course!), difficult (of course...), laugh out loud funny (in hind sight anyway), but it got me thinking.... is it something you’d want to read? Or is that wayyyyy too personal? Another one was my ‘to do list’-and I’m not talking laundry here. Apparently it’s called a ‘bucket list’ (yes, I had to ask...), as in things you want to do before you kick the bucket. Well, here we go, in no particular order-and please don’t laugh.... And it’s not an “I want, but an I would like” list, as I am teaching my girls the difference....

I would like to go skydiving (but I might be too scared)

I would like to live in Holland for a year with my family

I would like to be featured in a magazine

I would like my girls to say when they’re old and grey I was the best mother I could have been

I would like to be able to be silent for 7 days (I’d drive myself nuts)

I’d like to meet some wonderful people I know, who I have never met face to face

I’d like to meet old friends, who I haven’t forgotten • I’d like to explore Australia, in a van, with my kids

I’d like to become a grandmother (but NOT yet-obviously, my eldest is 6)

I’d like to learn how to surf

I’d like to write a book

I’d like to be on ‘fearfactor’ and win all the challenges

I’d like to grow old, and happy with my hubby, and laugh until the very last day

And I'd like to remember all the other things I now seem to have forgotten... Which brings me to another question... what is my retirement plan? Well, I’m not sure.... I’d love to do more travelling. I have been extremely lucky to have travelled to most countries in Europe, to Russia, to Asia, to America, to Australia-but I’d like to see more... I’d like to work hard now (with a healthy balance between work and kids), and enjoy later. I’d like to see and learn, when I am 50 or 80.... Anyway, it’s a very good question and I’ll have to think about it some more

But you know what?

*I do not need to win the lottery

*I do not need a bigger house

*I do not need more love

*I do not need more.

I have always said dreaming is important, without the dreams, there are no goals, without the goals, there is no progress, and without progress, you just stand still. But most importantly, it’s not about having what you want, but wanting what you have..... Xx Ilja

Rainbows and ricrac

2011-03-22T20:41:00.006+11:00

Be afraid... very afraid.... I have 400 mtrs of ricrac and I’m not afraid to use it! I put at least 4 meters on a skirt this weekend...

I wasn’t going to sew, just hang out, clean (who was I kidding?) and listen to the raindrops drop on my roof. But my girls were playing this great game with bandaids (???), and I just had to make something. So with no pattern, but just armed with my scissors I tore into fabric, snipped and sewed, added some ricrac and ribbon, as you do- and voila!!!! I know I have custom orders to do, but sometimes I hear voices calling me, “cut me, use me, make me pretty”, and there is this amazing pile waiting for me to snip it. But alas no time....

So I made time.... I am not the most patient of people and when an idea pops up I need to act on it. In Dutch we have a saying about having something ‘in your head but not in your bum’ (very loosely translated), which means that it just stays ‘there’, you don’t do anything about it. As in like, you’re not getting you bum into gear. Well, mine is always moving...

And then on Sunday I did the same, with pompoms and lace and bright blue fabric. But look how it turned out.....

Anyway, anyway, I am on track to make 6 twirly skirts in these amazing fabrics I saw and had to have, and am conquering them as we speak. I will put them up for sale in a week or 2-but will keep you posted (sizes 2-8, one each-all with adjustable waist).

Who knows how my weeks go....

I hear some people say” but what about me, it isn’t fair, I’ve had enough, now I want my share (only kidding-but come on, can I get it stuck in your head tonight?)-but I have found I need to create for me, in order to create for other people...And I love putting up things I have made up for a spotsale here and there.. It gives those people who missed out on a custom order a chance... And yes, I am still doing my orders as well, and getting through my waitinglist. I PROMISE! I just need to let my inner ‘rainbow and ricrac’ out once in a while....

As you know I am not taking on more custom orders now, and maybe only a fair few a month when I come back from stuffing my face with cheese and liquorice (though I’m not sure if that’s necessary. My youngest said to me today-wow mum, if you take away the fat you’d be skinny....And I did the one thing a grown up sensible adult would say: “It’s your fault honey, growing babies makes you hungry....), but there should be heaps coming your way in my store then, and I will take your wishes into 'consideration'!

Now, for my next blog, is there anything you’d like to know, that I haven’t already told you? Something that you’d like to ask? Please, ask away and I’ll compile them all together in my next post. If you’d like to remain anonymous, just use the ‘contact us tab’ on my FB page.... I will try and answer them all as honestly as I can ...

Xx Ilja

ps, and please... my R is still not working properly and more often than not it's missing. So please, Do NOT take offence when I comment on your status and I'm not saying what you think I'm saying....

Forgiveness

2011-03-19T21:06:00.002+11:00

You know sometimes it takes a while to put things in words, as you want to make sure they come across just right. Tonight just seemed like 'the' night. In the end it’s all about forgiveness....

I have often felt like writing this post, but the usual barriers stop me. Not embarrassment , that’s for sure, I am one proud woman. Not fear either... But as there is an image that you have created of me in your head, its hard to shatter that on purpose. Whether you can fit this in with the rest of ‘me’ is up to you... Everyone has their own point of reference , of what is bad and what is good. Of what is difficult to handle and what is not...

When I started my FB journey a year ago, I read a story of another WAHM right here on FB, and it struck a chord. Touched my heart, because it looked like mine...And I messaged her, and found her so wonderful, that since then I have enjoyed many a private conversation with others too. Neither should you be afraid to contact me, if you feel inclined....

I say: be a victor, not a victim. It’s your choice how to deal with things , and I believe in choices. To stay or to go, to say yes, or say no. I am not saying we always have a choice in what happens to us, but we do with how we deal with it. Choices are not always easy, but ever present. Not everyone has had a perfect upbringing, a seamless youth, an innocent life. A pleasant life, in the past or present.... But we can learn from mistakes, whether they are our own or not. We can learn from other people’s stories. This is mine...

My mother is the bravest woman I know. I love her with all of my heart and tell her this a lot-but it’s still not enough. She has instilled in me the strength to go on when things don’t go your way, the power to control my own destiny, and most importantly, to always see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s because of her I have a smile on my face, and it’s BIG.... She gave me the freedom I so sorely needed. She let me go when she knew I was extremely vulnerable, it must have been so hard to do so. To see me leave at 18 to the other side of the world, when I had the most chance of breaking down, not coping. But she did so anyway, and I build myself back up to the person I wanted to be. I had the strength and I succeeded. She must have known, after all she is my mum!

I grew up in a household tainted by mental illness, by alcoholism. By psychical abuse, and mental too. Police visits, trips to the social workers. There was a lot of heartache, tears and despair... I am not getting into more details, I do not think this is necessary. I felt unsafe and insecure a lot. Incomprehensibly sad and alone, even though I wasn’t... While everyone liked me at my high school, I doubt they would have noticed me if I was gone. I got quite good at becoming pleasant but unremarkable.

But here it is...

I do believe in breaking the cycle, and I do believe in forgiveness. Its not something you do for others, it’s a gift you give yourself, because without it you live with a burden so strong and heavy it’s impossible to carry. Forgive (not forget) and you can let go. I did and it paid me back tenfold..... There is a beauty in life , and I’m living it right now. I believe in karma, and it is my turn. Live and let go, and you can move on...

Life is what you make it, and I choose to make it fun. I love, I live, I laugh I learn. And I love that I am alive, and that I can laugh at myself more than at others. I’m learning everyday that it’s so much better to see the glass half full than half empty. So I am me, and that’s all I can give you. I am not liked by everyone, and I do not like everyone, and that’s okay..... But respect for others is mandatory..... My girls will NEVER get in trouble for wetting the bed, but they will for not respecting others... My honestly is all I have to give, and in my friendship with you thats what you’ll get whether you like it or not. Although I am still on the road to learning how to say NO......

But, now you might understand why I need my page to be a happy page. Bright & colorful. If I spend so much time there, I might as well make it pleasant....

I am going to ‘love you and leave you’ with yet another quote (hahaha). It’s enlightened me, and I hope it does the same for you....

“Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person will apologise or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.”

xx Ilja

The wise words of Marilyn Monroe

2011-03-15T22:01:00.002+11:00

Tuesday is blog night, but I wasn’t going to do a post tonight. For one reason or another I didn’t feel like a funny post, no sewjo, no mojo....

But I have this silly addiction to quotes, and I love finding new ones that make my feet tickle, and my heart sing. Quotes that make me find a tiny bit of inspiration and turn it into a big pile...

I am dedicating this post to quotes of Marilyn Monroe, and oh boy, there are a lot! Here are a few-I've thrown one in for each of you, and my fave goes first, how I love this one.....

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

"its better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you’re not"

"All little girls should be told they are pretty, even if they aren't."

"It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone."

"I've been on a calendar, but never on time."

"Success makes so many people hate you. I wish it wasn't that way. It would be wonderful to enjoy success without seeing envy in the eyes of those around you."

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

"Dogs never bite me. Just humans."

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

"I've never fooled anyone. I've let people fool themselves. They didn't bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn't argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn't."

Stay true to yourself everyone, and you will never find a more genuine person than YOU

xx Ilja

more kiddies

2011-03-12T21:12:00.001+11:00

Ooh, I said to hubby-it’s blog night, I forgot!
“Well” he said “just crack open the vodka and write one”. That’s why I love him. Not because he sounds like an alcoholic, but because he has the same attitude as I do. Just do it!

My morning routine goes something like this: at 7am I get up, turn on my computer and answer emails. Then my youngest wakes up and I make coffee while cuddling her slung over my shoulder. Then I send her to wake up my eldest, which normally results in tears. And yet I never learn. While having breakfast, I say: You! With the blond hair and green eyes-what do you want for your lunch. And you, the other one, what would you like?. Before my coffee kicks in, I need help with my vocabulary.

Well, this morning, my friend dropped of her 2 girls, before I even had my first coffee. And I was scared..... But while-as I’ve said before- sometimes I am super mum, sometimes just a crappy mum, today I kicked ass! As in ‘Wahoo, it went well, not as in I literally kicked a bum’. All 4 are still alive and in the same condition they were dropped off in. At 7.30 pm they were sound asleep, and I still have my sanity. So do they....They listened, they obeyed, and even though we had a little blue accident in the shape of a painted balloon (how that managed to turn 4 kids blue I still don’t understand), we did alright!

I love kids, I have kids, I used to work with kids. But for someone who ‘only’ has 2, 4 is different..... And can I just say, to all those with 3 or more kids: YOU rock!!!!!! I barely turn my back to check on one, and I wonder where the 2nd has gone. And I wonder how much responsibility I can give my 6 year old to look after the 3d (herself being the 4th). I know that there are mums out there with 3, 4 or 5 kids, and they sew and glue and just do! And you amaze me, and I admire you.

It’s not about how many kids we have, as mums we love them, and we do what we can to be the best mums we can be, while also using these creative outlets to be the best person we can be, to do a bit for US. For the better we treat ourselves and do things for us, the better people we can be for others.
Having said that, to all the mums out there with a house full of kiddies, you ROCK. I sleep....

Feeling the love...

2011-03-08T21:10:00.006+11:00

Honestly, I dont know what the big deal is...
A little hole in the crotch is not that bad....
We had many a bbq at our house, and when in need, the men walk 5 mtrs, pull up one leg of their shorts, and then, you know, put out non-existing fires. I honestly thought a hole would come in handy... Anyway, for those among you who think I’m the worst house wife ever, you are right! But at least now I have fixed his pants. And to keep my generousity going.....

I didn’t stop at one either, oh no, I even put a button on the other one too..

Allright, enough silly business-time to get serious....
It’s international women’s day today, so ‘yay’ to you! Did you tell your kids, and did they ask “and when is it childrens day?” And did you then answer in return ‘every day honey....’

So, this is a love story of a different kind.. I know there is sometimes funny stuff going on on facebook. And people are not always happy. Well, I say what I tell my kids: poo bum wee head. Very juvenile, I know-but it helps saying it out loud! It makes you smile....

In all seriousness, I think every day what a beautiful talented bunch of women I meet daily on Facebook, what amazing women you are. Customer, or entrepreneur, I am proud to get to know you better and better...

When I started my page I didn’t know anyone with a FB page, literally had to start from scratch. And I didn’t know how to do shout outs with the @ thingie for 6 months! So how on earth did I end up with that many likers now? Amazing women you are, I tell you!

I remember the day I posted a question out there for the first time, needing advice for a serious problem! ‘Where would my unpicker hide’ I asked, and in 10 minutes I had so many answers, it was unbelievable! These unpickers are cheecky things-and because of you, I found it too! You ladies saved the day. From that day on it got better and better, and just when you think you’ve seen it all, someone comes along with amazing dollies, or atwork, and you just wonder how many women are hiding in the woodworks with hidden talents. Or bid extra ordinary amounts on auctions just to help out someone they don’t know, or say kind words just when you need them. And those emails!!! Well, just keep them coming......

Now, you haven’t just gotten to know me, I have gotten to know you too. From pics of your beautiful daughters, to shared miseries over crazy kiddies, or mean hubbies. And you know what? When the night has come, and the land is dark, and the moon is the only light we’ll see... I look forward to meeting up with you on Facebook. Sometimes with water, but sometimes wine too, we have a laugh, and on some days a cry too. And when things don’t go as planned, who are the first to help and offer support, you are! You inspire me to make clothes, to write blogs, to put myself out there. I put your pic on the fridge to get motivated to loose weight. I look forward to your Friday fashion tips. Reading that I remind you of you puts a smile on my face, and do you know just how many Dutch hubbies there are out there? Well, you ladies must be pretty special to bring them all the way out here! And just tonight, when I had a song in my head I couldn’t get rid off and I posted in on FB? Within 10 minutes we were simultaneously listening to it on You Tube AND planning the music to an engagement party (kind of). Now that’s what I'm talking about! The glass is always half full ladies-never half empty.

Just keep in mind that the R on my keyboad eally is stuck and No-I am not dunk....

And to celebrate womens day, here is a bunch of flowers.... not the real deal, but another part of me. In the back of my newly cleaned & tidied wardrobe, yet another thing I found... When I was younger-lots younger, I loved drawing teddy bears-the ‘forever friends kind’. And so I copied them, we all do a bit of that now and again...

Lots of love tonight, from my heart to yours!

Photo's photo's

2011-03-05T21:06:00.007+11:00

I hope you are all having a wonderful saturday, for me it was an exciting one..... I had the very first photoshoot of my em&femme designs items, and it was a whirlwind of color and kids-I'm not sure in what order.... I gave my photographer one brief: 'it's all about fun!' My clothes should not be about wearing only once a year, but rather every day! I dont care if the clothes get dirty, they should be worn! Kids are beautiful and they deserve to get noticed!

My wonderful friend Catriona, from CatrionaM photography has been duped into taking photo's for me for a while now, and we all know family photo's can be tricky! Especially mine, considering I never noticed my youngest wasnt wearing undies (again) untill Catriona edited the pics, and very considerately covered up the offending area with some more dress.... I would never have noticed if she hadn't told me! nfortunately its a saturday night and I cant find the original, so I have taken a pic of the framed one in my kitchen, hence the weird flashy spot on hubbies jeans.... (and no, I still havent fixed the other pair).

Then we tricked her again into taking pics of the houses my hubby builds (with his super capable builder dad!), and they dont't look too bad if I say so myself.....

Then she shot some more of my girls before and after haircuts and the rest is history....

So please, stay tuned for the results of my photoshoot, the very first (but NOT last---more exciting pics coming in the next couple of months).... I will publish them as soon as I can. Catriona has just started her Facebook page and I'm hoping to increase traffic to her site by the bucketloads....

xx Ilja

Going Dutch

2011-03-01T21:05:00.005+11:00

“disclaimer: the next post might offend you if you are dutch, german, irish, australian or from any other country’. They are NOT my opinions, but they made me laugh nonetheless”

It’s sooo hot and I’m not capable of doing anything other than surf the net. I know I should sew and stuff-but I cant. If I’d post a pic of myself right now you’d understand.... I am sorry to those waiting!

I am struggling to write this post. It has me falling of my chair laughing. Now I understand & appreciate it will not be like that for all of you, but come on, some of these links are soo funny!......

My kids and hubby are my life, and home is where the heart is. And since I followed him here (my ‘old’ home is a 24 hour plane ride away), my home is here. But honestly, I would have followed him anywhere. He is worth it! Having said that, I am happy he was born in Australia instead of Uzbekistan or Sibaria (for no other reason I don’t speak the language of course!), I am feeling rather at home here....

But at the moment I am in limbo, not feeling Dutch or Australian while I am trying to be both. Of course there are the big differences, but they matter less every day. Like the language barrier...

I can still remember how hard it was to choose a name for our first born. Not knowing what sex the baby was we tried to come up with many names. I feel I came up with the loveliest names, only to be met with ‘no no no, aussie people will make that into this, or that. A confused 2 days later, full of robbo’s and shazza’s, lozza and gaz’s.... what were we to do??? We settled on Emma (really, what can you do with that), and I got even more scared choosing the 2nd.... We settled on a Dutch name, Femke, which is supposed to mean peaceful little girl (haha, serves us right), and could only come up with 'Femmo'. Wich could either mean an endearing term for feminist or famished. So we stuck with it...

When I was living in America, a good 17 years ago now, my host family was half Dutch and they had the funniest book about Dutch habits, among others their (my?) toilets. We have no windows in our toilets (just air refreshener), and stuff out toilets full of birthday calendars , fake plants, gadgets, magazines, photo’s of our student days etc. The worst things is what foreigners call the ‘inspection shelf‘ ....Nuf said. For more info-check out this link, but I’m sure you wouldn’t want to!:

I once read this explanation of people speaking Dutch: it sounds like a bulimic in an echo-chamber. Well, it’s true, need I say more....It's not the prettiest sounding language in the world-let's be honest! It inspired me to find that funny book again and came across to most hilarious (offending) sites:

This one's written by an Irishman...

And these are some funny 'apparent' facts I found out about Holland (also called-correctly- The Netherlands). And no, it's not the capital of Denmark!:

*Don't buy wooden shoes. They will look completely ridiculous. Which is the reason they will try to sell them to you. A Hollander himself would not want to be found dead wearing them.(Preferably a Hollander doesn't want to be found dead at all).

*Holland is small. It is sometimes rumoured that Holland is so small they take it inside when it's raining. This is not true because it rains 365 days a year. This also explains the wooden shoes: they float. Yes…Holland is small and Hollanders are very proud of it. They will use any opportunity to say that Holland accomplished such great things for such a small country.

*The most important way of public transportation in Holland is the bicycle. Feel free to take any bike of which you can pick the lock. Just don't expect your own bike to be in the same spot where you parked it 3 minutes earlier. Hunting season for bikes is open 365 days a year. Good luck!

*Don't bother renting a car. Not only will you be able to steal more bikes then you can use but car traffic in Holland is not something to enjoy. Where the rest of the world uses kilometres to express the lengths of traffic jams, in Holland these are measured in weeks. To be honest, the most steadfast ones are worth a visit. The sight of starving people in an expensive Mercedes can greatly improve your mood if your somewhat philosophical. Bring some pieces of bread to throw through the open windows. The fights over them are often very spectacular.

*Holland is a kingdom.It just doesn't have a king but a queen and her husband is not king but a prince. The queen does not rule -much- but she's very capable in cutting ribbons and visiting other countries. She is also very decorative at state banquettes. Her son, the crown prince, will take over if she stops queening. His wife in turn will be queen so that Holland will finally have a king and queen again.April 30 is queensday but it is not the birthday of the queen but princes Juliana's, who used to be queen. With things like this it's only logical that more and more people want Holland to be a republic. Queensday, by the way, is just an excuse to drink lots of beer and sell all their old junk on the streets.

*It would be wise to learn how to swim before you come to Holland.No, the dikes will hold, that's not the problem, but the large amount of lakes, streams, rivers canals and creaks could lead to painful mistakes. That shiny new strip of asphalt you're turning on to with your car during rain might not be an asphalt road at all.

*Holland has more cities then Amsterdam.There is…eh…and.....

Well, having ridiculed Dutch people, now I think it's only fair to share some aussie jokes as well-this is the funniest site I have come across-keep reading-it's gets better further down....

xx Ilja

ps and remember, it's about the laughs, not the opinions.....

LOL

2011-02-26T21:14:00.003+11:00

I have no words other than WOW. You guys rock!!!

Since I am left speechless (which doesn’t often happen-let me tell you), I am making this short & swift, so I can be off and watch a movie..... My eyes need a couple of hours away from the computer so I can email you all back tomorrow!
FYI, I have a GSOH and I often ROFL, but don’t really PMSL. I leave that to DD1 and DD2. I am not a SWF, but have a DH, one I love VM. Now DH does NOT stand for dear Hamish (as he thinks), nor does it mean dickhead, IIWII, but I thought I might clarify it JICYDK....

Yes, swift & short!

I am giving myself a crash course in internetslang, as someone who didn’t know what ‘lol’ stood for, for soooo long, it’s necessary. ‘lol’ in Dutch means ‘fun’, and somehow I kind of figured it was a universal thing. Never in my short legged life did I realise it stood for something else. And when I read that my friends posted ‘lmao’ on their FB statuses, I thought it was like an Italian term for “are you kidding”? (I read it as imao). Please do me a favour, say ‘imao’ out loud, pretend you’ve had pizza, a few wines perhaps, wave your hands –and just say it. It works doesn’t it? Although I would love to laugh my ass off. Literally!

I am flabbergasted (I have always wanted to say that word). Did you know there is an abbreviation for NIFOC (naked in front of computer), or one that says PPTL (pop to the loo-I would so NOT tell anyone. I’d be scared they could hear me...)?? Or for the under aged among us (if there are any, please consult your parents before reading this blog. It might contain swearwords, nudity, and creates unsavoury images in your head that are hard to get rid of): MOS (mum over shoulder), or PIR (parents in room). At least I will be up to date for when my girls use the internet. Although AFAIC they never will (aaargh too scary)....
Anyway, hth, I gtg, watch that movie....
Xx Ilja

Ps did I say you guys rock?!

welcome

2011-02-22T17:31:00.004+11:00

**I wrote my blogpost this morning, unaware of course of what would happen, the devastating earthquake that would litterally rock Christchurch, and everyone else in New Zealand (and the rest of the world if they've heard). My thoughts are with all those affected in any way, wishing them the strength to get through this. My prayers are with those who have lost their lives and loves, I can't imagine...**

I wondered if I should still publish my post, especially considering the content of it: my happiness? I have been glued to the tellie, watching the harrowing images and will press 'publish' to maybe offer a distraction for a minute or two.....

WELCOME!

Welcome to my bi-weekly (tuesday) night of blogging. I am happy today.....

Last night I was going to treat myself to an early night, but then I discovered 'The princess bride' was on tellie.. Ooh how I love that movie. For anyone who has not seen it-rent it, and see it. It was made in 1987, but you would't say so, it's a timeless classic. I was tempted to wake up my girls so they could watch it with me, but it was after 9 and a school night. I would have regretted it in the morning.

Then this morning I made fun of my hubby on facebook , see post here and it kept me smiling all day. He's my best friend and we share (almost) all, so of course I told him how we laughed at his expense. He wants to take another pic of the pants, STILL lying there unfixed, and send it to his mates, just like I did...

And of course I am happy because of the liberating decision I made last saturday, and I am truly humbled by all the support I was given. I will tell you that's the last time I say this, not because I'm not grateful, I am, but humble, makes me think of pie. Which makes me hungry. You can fill in the rest...

So, a warm welcome to the new fans on Facebook and new readers of my blog. Welcome to my world! This blog is like a diary, pure unsencored me. Sometimes it's about sewing, but mostly it's not. It's about the person who does the sewing. If you want to know about me, click here, if you've already read it here's more.... Through writing to you, I get to know me more too!

Next week I will go back to what inspires me, what captures my thoughts at that very moment, what I need to get of my chest. Whatever I feel like sharing

*I like to eat and I like to cook. Unfortunately I do too much of the first, not enough of the second.

*I am thinking about asking picnik for commission (One or two people got as addicted as I am after this post, I 've heard).

*I am a coffee snob. The worst. I will only ever accept instant if I really really like you, or I am sooo tired that I will crash the car driving down the street. Wine however is a different story, I will drink that out of a bag.

*I am (very) loud. I talk loud, I laugh loud, I sing loud. But I cry quietly

*I am extremely loyal, but break my heart twice and you’re out. There is no 3rd strike.

*I read. Lots. Have ever since I could read. At 8 I was an expert in fairytales, and I still like to believe in them.

*I looooved being pregnant, and I loved my big belly. If I didnt have stretchmarks and piggy legs, I would have walked down the street naked, just to show it off.

*I make lists. Endless list (to keep my head clear) . That you are not on the list of links I like doesnt mean I dont love you, just that I am slack. I lie in bed at night and think-crap, forgot to add them again!

*I dont buy fabric with the money I make from sewing, I sew to pay the fabric I buy (did you notice how casually I slipped that one in?)

*My childhood was quite sad at times, but at present I am happy, truly happy...